


Reset ex-lover

by Chansisen



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), BP is slightly older now, Bara monsters, Clueless Reader, EDD dealing, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Future Fake Dating, No sibling abuse, Reader Is Not Frisk (Undertale), Sans isn't a drooling perv, Sans will do anything to get out of doing paperwork, Skeleton brothers almost shared their feelings in a healthy way, Swearing, by Octopus Marvin, desperate search for toiletpaper, food regulations lowkey in place, graveyard, lowkey worrywart papy, mention of prostitution, papy loves rules and paperwork, physical force is unusual for monsters, reader slowly turning to a life of crime, skeleton in emotional agony, skeletons having a bad time in hidden, slight jealousy, slowburn, snakes in hidden, soft version underfell, soul experimentation, they rely heavily on magic use, unseen time shenanigans, “HUMANS DESCENDED FROM SKELETONS”
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 13:47:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22941172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chansisen/pseuds/Chansisen
Summary: You want to survive another week, renovate your shack and maybe get some respect. Then Sans started acting funny after another human fell down… Is he… Is he slow blinking at you from the other side of the room? The hot topic skeletons are stressing you out!Sans is a violent idiot, Papyrus is a rule abiding ball of stress and you just want some goddamn toilet paper already!
Relationships: Papyrus (Undertale) & Reader, Sans (Undertale)/Reader
Comments: 55
Kudos: 69





	1. Hot-buzz Impression

* * *

**Hot-buzz Impression**

**“Crying damsel in distress honestly thought she was tougher than this”**

* * *

No one had ever accused you of being a genius. You’d always been a bit too protected by a dad, without a healthy understanding of boundaries, and a consistently high mother. She was, of course, high from the fumes of the paint from constant home renovations. Otherwise it might have been a very different childhood experience. 

So far your life had been, although sometimes filled with mischief, mostly stable and safe. That stability and safety quickly kissed your ass goodbye, much like many job opportunities after college, as soon as you fell. 

The first time you meet the bony asshole (without the actual ass) had been during the most stressful time in your life. Not only had you fallen down a dark scary hole and found a whole new species, no, you had barely scraped by while doing it.

Monsters were... How should you put it? Monstrously huge. 

Next to a monster you looked like a lost little kid. Most of them had to look down to see you, which was great when you were hiding but the worst when you tried to get respect. Hint, you got no respect. All the lines had been crossed several times by several grabby assholes. Every monster you’ve met head-on so far had tried to threaten, bribe or trick you in one way or another. One thing they all had in common, besides their fashion choices, were their obsession with souls. Or, well, your soul to be precise. You’d be flattered if it weren’t for the angry monsters foaming at the mouth when you refused to present it. Weirdly enough, none of them ever assaulted you or actively tried to hurt you over it. Which was, if you were to stop and think about it, odd. 

Most of them, when showing an aggressive amount of interest in your soul, jerked around or did grand gestures while shouting things such as, “Eat your greens!” Or, “Ribbit ribbit”. Sometimes flashy things would happen. They were pretty to look at but strange. The monsters manifesting it always got more pissy after their little show but nothing major ever came of it. Only one of them had ever gotten physical. They headbutted you while dramatically exiting the room, or more like, hopping from the room. Monsters were weird and sometimes looked like hot topic frogs. 

You’ve been in the underground for two weeks with nothing to show for it but scratches, bruises and a minor cold. This was nothing short of a miracle considering how unpleasant all the monster where, how big that goat was and how deceptively sweet a poisoned pie could be. Not to mention how thoughtlessly you habitually accepted whatever happened around you, still thinking, “surely, this new monster might be genuinely trying to help?” Needless to say, mama sure raised a fool.

You learnt that frogs did more than just passive aggressively sit on lily pads. They also shoot you on sight after whispering. “Hey, hey you! Hey, come here, That’s right, baby. Coooome here!” From various dark and moist corners. At least you think they were trying to shoot you. After some serious contemplation you’ve realised that those lighshows were more than just for show. But for some reason they never hurt you. 

You learnt that some material was more flammable (like cosy stolen blankets) than others and that fireballs were extremely hard to dodge when you saw double. Another truth was that some doors only opened from the inside, which, when faced with a sudden snow storm, was highly unfair. 

That was then. Today you learnt a new fact about the underground- Skeletons are stick breaking douches with buzzers hidden in their sleeves.

“the name’s sans, sans the skeleton.” The new monster, dressed in red, black and yellow, said while sadistically firming his grip on your hand. 

The buzzer got warmer and warmer. Oh shit, you felt your legs giving up, making you sink further down towards the snow, while something very unflattering happened to your pained face. You always were an ugly crier. 

“Let go, asshole!” You shouted hoarsely through gritted teeth, trying desperately to get free from his grip. 

His body bent with a low chuckle, following your own graceless decent, looming over you. After a while your hand was numb to the shocks but the heat felt like it might burn through your bones. 

“You’re hurting me!” Not that you thought he cared about that. 

“nice to meet ya, too… buddy.” He was way too close to your face. After one final squeeze he releasing your hand with a flourish. With a snicker he straightened to his full height. He towered over you, casting a dark shadow. Suffice to say, you didn’t think he would fit through a regular door in a human home. That skeleton man was a big boy. 

“now that the formalities are over with…”

You were too busy rubbing your hand to notice how his body language turned even more hostile. “i’d rather avoid making a mess…” At this you looked up. He grinned at you, sockets filled with malice. “but i’d like to make this quick. gotta carry my weight around here.”

“What are you doing?” You watched his hand start glowing red. It made his false gold tooth glint. 

“hehehe… see ya in hell, doll.” 

“What?” 

His grin nearly split his face, slowly raising his hand, making it glow while one eye socket went out and the other ignited. Oh god, another light show, just like all the other monsters you’ve met. 

“oh, would ya look at that. we’re a l r e a d y h e r e.” One last second of eye contact then he made a strange hand gesture, like a come here motion, before he violently struck his hand towards the trees by the side of the road. 

You watched him with wide eyes as he froze in a dramatic pose, staring at where his hand pointed. 

“Uh…” You tried but faltered when his head slowly turned towards you. 

His red wide eye was really starting to unnerve you. 

“Uh, are you okay, dude?” As soon as you asked if he was okay you regretted it. Your tears were still wet on your cheeks and you felt that your kindness was wasted on him. You recovered as he stared at you, creepily, one might even say, without blinking.

The skeleton faced you head-on again and repeated the come here motion. Nothing happened to you. Now you just had to wait for him to reach the conclusion that it was useless so that you could move on. 

He startled you by doing another violent turn and striking his hand upwards, towards the cave ceiling, still staring at you. His charged eyelight started spinning in his sockets, casting out small red sparks. You didn’t know that skeletons could sweat.

“is this supposed to be a joke?” He started sweating harder. 

“Sorry?” You blurted when his smile twitched. 

“where is yer freaking soul, lady?!” Mr strangely angry skeleton man started doing various poses in rapid succession. “fucking freak!” He was getting more and more breathless, sweaty and… Sweary. 

“that’s impossible,” he spat. “what the fuck?” 

“Okay, uh, are you done now?”

“s-shut up!” How were you to know he was about to prove he wasn’t just a big boy, but a big  mean boy?

He broke the pose and strode over to you, “ya know damn well, doll.” Feeling a bit intimidated you backed away but he caught you by the arm and dragged you back, “acting all dumb and shit.” He swung you closer, “while using a magic barrier.” As soon as you hit his chest from the awkward move he shoved you harshly down to the ground with a sinister laugh. Your ass hit the hard ice with a yelp. “the old fashioned way is still solid, eh?” He laughed. “works for me.” 

Then he backhanded you. This sick fuck just struck you right across the face. 

There was no time to think, or spit out the blood pooling in your mouth. He sat his boney ass right across your chest and proceeded to slap you silly.

It must have looked ludicrous, this giant skeleton sitting on a woman half his size, just idly slapping her around. For another monster his size, this would be considered light bullying. For a small human? It was a horrifying assault. One you had not been prepared for. None of the other monsters had done this!

His laugh was loud and strangely wet, from deep in his chest and echoing through his bones. “hehe, only know one spell, bitch?” His eyes crinkled, “pathetic.” 

You kicked out your feet, tried to shout, but opening your mouth was a mistake. His thick bony hand graced your mouth, dragging your lip over your teeth. Had he hit the teeth head on, it felt like they would have popped out. It hurt like a bitch and cut your lip. Your body sunk down the snow, like a chilled cocoon trapping you further. It spiked your feeling of surrealistic panic, because this couldn’t really be happening, right? All the while, you were stuck making involuntary sounds whenever his hard bony hand made an impact. 

Your arms were partly locked on your chest, under his thighs, pushing them up did nothing to dislodge him. At some point you bit your own tongue, adding to the feeling of your face being on fire. All those self-defense lessons on youtube did absolutely nothing for you! You tried to remember them, but it was like your brain was stuck in a stutter. What did help you was more than a little surprising. 

For Sans the skeleton that is. 

“Sans! Why Are You Not At Your Post?!” 

“b-boss!” He immediately slid off of you, staggering to his feet in a clumsy movement. 

You barely had a moment to reorient yourself and realize the new situation. The attack had lasted seconds while feeling like hours, but you had just enough time to make out the tall angry skeleton stomping forward. Right as you, to your own growing horror, connected the dots of what was happening and what you were seeing- that there was another one, Sans grabbed you again. He took a hold of your sweater by the scruff of your neck, with a few errant strands of hair getting caught and snapping off painfully. You lost your breath when he housted you up to your feet and you instinctively grabbed his hand. 

“bro.” Sans nodded to the tall angry figure getting closer. 

Oh no, they were brothers! The chances of this new skeleton helping you out were getting slimmer by the minute. You couldn’t stop sniffling, the blood running from your nose fell to the back of your throat making you involuntarily swallow, feeling like you were going to drown if you didn’t. The new skeleton, clad in black and red, like Sans, was even bigger. If you considered Sans a big mean boy, then surely this one would be considered a massive one.

“Sans!” 

The new arrival stopped a small distance away from the scene. Feet apart, shoulders raised and head tilted down, he looked at the two of you for a beat. Tilting his head slightly to the right he made a dismissive sound in the back of his throat and crossed his arms. 

“I Don’t Know If I Should Be Proud Of You For Actually Doing Your Job For Once, Or Disappointed By Your Methods.” This new massive boy was also a massive prick.

Sans, the absolute worst person in existence (in your newfound personal opinion) had the audacity to laugh. “this little doll”, he shok you, “is a freaky one.” His smile fell slightly, “and not in the fun way.” You gave up trying to get away at this point. 

“she’s put up a barrier, boss.” He raised you slightly making you desperately trying to reach the ground with your toes, grabbing his hand harder and glaring angrily. You had never been in this much trouble before. Not in a way that made you think you were going to get killed. 

You had never been this afraid.

“Regardless, You Have It In Hand, I See.” 

“heh, good one, bro.”

“Not What I Meant You Menace!” He pinched where his nose would be if he had one. 

Sans looked smug. He shrugged, making your body follow his movement, swinging pathetically from your helpless hold. You couldn’t feel your lips anymore. It was the strangest feeling.

“Report And Proceed To The Next Station, Sentry!” Those red eyelights were cutting. 

“right.” Sans changed his grip but still held firm, cementing you to his side. “human displays an immunity to magic attacks. physical attacks on the other hand…” He squeezed your neck, “works just fine. seems like they don’t have much fighting experience.” 

You spat at him. The big glob of spit and blood landed under his eye socket and dripped down to the corner of his mouth. You had a small moment of elation. Then you saw nothing but stars when he headbutted you. 

You didn’t see anything for several hours after that. 

-

  
  


-

-

You woke up in a dark room. It was cold but thankfully only slightly (very) damp. You were laying on a pile of blankets, surprisingly soft and thick, considering your previous treatment. Still, those blankets were placed on a hard wooden floor. It looked like it might give you splinters if you were brave enough to walk there with bare feet. 

And, oh, you were behind bars. 

In a shed. 

A dark shed... After getting the beat down of a century from a very angry skeleton. Said skeleton was thankfully not present. 

But his brother was. 

He was staring at you from a dark corner. The only reason you noticed this was because he threw a damp rag at your face through the bars when you dragged your hand under your nose. 

“Wipe That Shit Off Your Face!” He barked from an uncomfortable looking stool. What a prick. You hoped the stool numbed his ass.

If you were shaking or not didn’t matter. His stare was unwavering and harsh, even when you obeyed his orders numbly. The blood had dried and crusted on your face in small flakes that occasionally came off when you moved. You felt gross. 

The damp rag felt like it was just dragging it around and making it worse. But you were scared enough that you kept at it, just to keep him from storming towards the bars, or even worse, coming into your side of them to hurt you. But shit, it was pure agony even touching your nose, the area around your mouth or the side of your jaw.

“Now.” The monster started, paused and crossed his legs, “You Have Been Captured By The Great And Terrible Captain Of The Royal Guard.” A note came into existence from nowhere over Papyrus head. It fluttered down gently. He snatched it from the air and squinted at it for a beat. “And… His Brother.” His frown tugged down as if displeased at the last part. He crumbled the note.

You kept quiet but stopped trying to clean yourself when he got out a pair of reading glasses from his pocket, a pen and a small writing pad. 

“You Will Be Processed According To Procedure. As Agreed With The Underground Factions, Section 5B. Do You Understand?” 

You gave him a blank look. He returned your look with an unimpressed one. He placed the glasses on the bridge of his nose with a gentle click. You were surprised they didn’t fall off. As soon as they were on his face you were struck by the thought that he might be the “good cop”. If so, then when would that other skeleton asshole be the bad cop, waltzing in later on to torture you?

“A Sentry Has Been Dispatched To Gather Further Orders Regarding Your… Unique Situation.” He paused again, clicked a pen and tapped it against a blank page on the writing pad. You had an inkling about who he was talking about. “I Believe You’ve Met.” He gave a dry chuckle while you struggled to respectfully continue removing dried bodily fluids while seeming attentive. Your nerves were not made for this shit. 

“Briefly.” You gritted from aching teeth. One of them felt extra tender. At least Sans wouldn’t be here. It was a small (insignificant) comfort. 

“I Will Ask You A Series Of Questions. Answering Them Will Ease Your Stay Here Until Further Notice. You Will Answer Them. Understood?”

“... I understand.” The rag was useless, dirty, used and placed on the floor where it belonged. 

He nodded. “Then, Human… What Is Your Full Name?”

You gave it to him. Somehow this didn’t feel real. 

“Gender?”

“Uh, woman. Or, uh, do they say female in this sort of thing?” 

He ignored your question. “How Long Since You Fell Underground?”

“About… Two weeks I think?”

He wrote it down while asking the next question. “What other sort of monsters have you encountered? Where did you have these encounters?” 

He gave similar questions, who you’ve met, what happened, where you started out and what you knew of the area. It felt like hours had passed and the questions repeated themselves. Some were asked differently, but you still did your best. The shed got lighter, your butt ached but the blankets helped keep you warm. During a lull you noticed that he had bags under his eyes.  None of you looked happy to be there. Then he started asking you about magic. 

“How Many Mages Are There Currently?” He flipped the page. 

“I’m sorry, what?” 

“How Many Mages Are There Currently At The Surface?” He clarified. 

“Uh”, you wrinkled your nose. An uncomfortable feeling started to grow. “Harry Potter?” You hesitantly answered. 

“Harry Potter.” He mirrored. 

“Yeah, the boy who lived.” His blank face made you nervous. “Uh, you know?” You coughed. 

“I Don’t.” He tapped his pen again. “Who Else?”

“I don’t know. I, uh, never read the books. And... Only watched two of the movies.”

He stopped writing. “Movie?”

“Yeah.” 

He scratched out what he wrote. “How Many Mages Are Currently At The Surface, Who Are Actually Alive And Real?” 

“I don’t think there are any.” But what the hell did you know? At this point you might even start believing that Harry Potter was someone's biography. 

He grumbled, underlined something and then started to completely obliterate your confidence and your voice. 

No, you didn’t know any mages. No, you were not lying. You weren’t part of a pack or unit? Whatever that meant. No, you didn’t know magic was real until now. No, you don’t know how to do magic. For the seventh time, no, you’re not a mage and there was no such thing as a magic army at the foot of the mountain. 

“Don’t Lie To Me, Human! I WILL Make You Regret It.”

“I’m not lying!”

No, you didn't work for someone. You were sad and unemployed. Why couldn’t you get work? Because you didn’t have the experience. Yes, it really works like that. How did you live? Terribly, thanks for asking. Where? With your parents. Yes, you were an adult. No, you didn’t have any defects. Yes, your parents were upset about your life choices and general lack of achievements. No, you didn’t like napping everywhere. Yes, you performed very poorly at gym when you were in school. 

“For the last time! I fell down here alone, met a goat and left. I didn’t dust anything, because it’s rude! And no…! I didn’t bring anything dangerous with me!”

“Didn’t Dust ANYTHING?” He looked angrier for some reason. 

“Not a single thing!”

He put down his pen. “I Knew It”, he mumbled to himself. “Humans Are Fucking Disgusting.” 

Deciding it was better to be quiet, since you were smart enough to know that you were at his mercy, you merely pulled the blanket tighter around yourself when he got up and started pacing. 

After a while he got up and dunked a mug into a barrel then swiftly turned towards you. 

“Your Horrible Voice Is Grating!” 

The cup felt rough and cool. As soon as you accepted it he backed away from you. The water tasted like heaven after all this time but his relentless judgy stare made it hard to enjoy. He leaned against the wall opposite you with crossed arms and ankles. Sharp teeth set in a frown, glaring red eyes unwavering and full of suspicion. He didn’t look real. Like a prop in a movie or an oversized halloween decoration. 

After a few sips you broke under the pressure and asked what you really wanted to know. 

“What’s your name?” 

He was silent long enough that you thought he wasn’t gonna answer you when he surprised you. “Papyrus.” 

“Papyris.” You tried. He looked offended. 

“Papyrus!” He repeated heatedly. “Get It Right!”

“That’s what I said! Papyris.” 

“No, You-” He cut himself off and took off his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nasal bone. He took a deep breath, composed himself and straightened. 

“Pa-Py-Rus.” He enunciated slowly. 

“Papyrus.” 

He dramatically raised his arms in a quick movement.“Yes, Papyrus!”

“... Am I going to die, Papyrus?” 

He scoffed dismissively. “In A Perfect World, You Would Already Be Dead.”

“Rude.”

“My Brother’s Words, Not Mine. They Are Still True.” He returned to his stool, pen and pad. 

You watched him sit down while tracing the edge of your nose. It had swelled. After he got situated you asked, “So... I will die?”

He fixed you with a tired frown, “No.” 

“Then what will happen to me?”

“You’re Useless.” He said it like a statement, something completely true. “Because Of A Magic Barrier You Don’t Even Know You’re Casting.” He looked frustrated about that. You had a hard time feeling sympathetic 

“It Is Almost Ironic. Yet Another Thing Mages Will Keep From Us. Another Way To Keep Us Here.” He said it out loud but it was as if he was talking to himself.

After a moment he continued in a louder voice. ”Until Further Notice You Will Be Under Evaluation By The Royal Guard. If Deemed Harmless You Will Be Allowed Free Reign Of Snowdin Under Supervision. If Not, You Will Be Terminated Immediately.”

Your fingers froze on your face. He noticed.

“You Look Like Shit.” 

“You look dead.” Almost as dead as you would be if “terminated”.

“weak, doll.”

“Sans!” Papyrus turned to his brother who had just appeared in the room, as if summoned by lame jokes and growing depression. Sans stood with his hands in his pockets and a lazy smile. You tensed when he looked you over, sockets catching on your wounds. His smile widened. 

Your first impression of Sans wasn’t great (understatement of the year) and he was about to make sure his second impression showed even more of his bad qualities.

“heh, he wasn’t kidding.” He was one to talk with those deep red eyebags under his sockets. 

“Sentry! Report!” Barked Papyrus. 

Sans turned towards his brother, “paps, relax. it’s too early for formalities.”

“We’re Still Working, Sans! Show Some Decorum.” 

“nah.” He scratched his cheek and winked. “human is already caught so relax. besides… i’m on break.” 

Papyrus gave a long suffering sigh. “Just Tell Me The Orders.” 

“m’kay.” 

“...”

“...”

“Sans.”

“yeah, boss?”

“The Orders, Now.”

“m’kay.”

“Don’t You Dare.”

“...”

“SANS!” Nothing could have prepared you for that sudden screech. “DON’T GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT AND GIVE ME THE FUCKING ORDERS!”

“aw, paps. ya know i hate repeating myself.” If Sans was at all concerned with his pissed off brother or the consequences for his actions, he didn’t show it. He also didn’t seem concerned about relaying the orders. 

“You Didn’t Say Shit! We’ve Captured A Human For The First Time In 59 Fucking Years And You’re Giving Me This Bullshit!”

“no i didn’t. i said nothing.”

“My Point Exactly! That’s The Problem!”

“yeah, that’s what we’re doing. nothing.”

Papyrus looked like he wanted to shout some choice words but refrained. He grinded his teeth and Sans shrugged.

“Either We Didn’t Get New Orders Or We’re Ordered To Do Nothing?”

“yeah.”

“Yes, What?

“what?”

“OHMYGOD!” Papyrus got up, grabbed his shitty stool and threw it at his brother. 

He missed.

A deep wet laugh echoed in the tiny shed. Sans was wiping away tears while his brother was throwing a tantrum, and obscenities, at his brother, his behaviour and the world in general. 

“chill, bro. i’m just messing with ya.” 

Papyrus was far from chill, but he just remembered you were in the room with them. Throwing you a glance he blushed from anger and embarrassment. You averted your eyes. 

He cleared his throat and gave Sans a glover. “If You Are Quite Done?”

“yeah yeah.” He rocked on the balls of his feet. “orders are- no transport, observation and report to the king. Uh, and the little psyko is gonna come over later for an evaluation.” 

“That Is Not Nothing!”

“basically nothing.”

“Tch! I’ll Alert All Units In The Area In The Morning.”

You glanced around, pretty sure that was now. 

“it’s already morning, bro.” 

“You Are A Menace!” 

The bickering was interrupted by the sound of a fallen tree and a distans shout of, “NNNGGHHAAAA!!!” Promptly followed by the sound of more broken trees, including the disturbance of a decrepit christmas tree that jingled sadly at the mindless violence so carelessly tossed its way. Then came the sound of running on snow, intense knocking on a house outside the shed and then silence. It didn’t last for long.

“PAPYRUS!” A woman bellowed. “Open up this instance!” Her knocking intensified. “I know you’re here you dweeb!” You could have sworn you smelt sushi. 

The brothers shared a look before glancing your way. You gulped. 

A decision was made between the brothers silently. 

Finally Papyrus sighed, brushed off his uniform and offhandedly told his brother, “Protocol, Sans.” Sans face soured. Then the taller of the two left to deal with the increasingly loud woman banging her fist against the house outside. You could barely make out what they were saying but in the end you decided it wasn’t worth it. You had another issue to deal with- Sans. 

“heh, relax, doll. ya look like yer gonna shake right outta your skin.”

You were scared of him. But you were also dumb as shit. “So, Sans the skeleton.” You paused for dramatic effect. He ruined it. 

“sans the skin.” 

You refused to react. 

“We meet again.” 

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...What are you doing?”

“observing a human in its natural habitat.” The, behind bars part, went unsaid. 

You stopped touching your face at last. He looked way too proud of himself. Too happy about your captivity. It made your fear fade and be replaced by a growing irritation. 

“yer nose looks like a little balloon. is that normal for ya?”

You refused to reply. He shrugged, unbothered and leaned against the opposing wall. “listen, doll.” He lazily drawled. “a little doctor is gonna take a look at that freaky soul ya got. do ya know why? or are ya too stupid to figure it out by yerself?”

You poked an aching tooth for a bit, adding focus to your stare. After awhile you decided to speak up. “That thing in the forest… You tried to take my-” You stopped yourself and scrunched your nose. “My, uh, soul.” 

“yeah.” He didn’t look the slightest bit ashamed.

“And it’s something that can be stolen?”

“ ya bet.” His teeth, that were already pretty sharp looking, grew longer until they resembled thin needles. Your mouth opened with shock while his smile widened at your reaction. Sans wore a cruel face, “can be used, too. like a tool to get what we need.” 

You felt the hair on your arms rise and grew still. He laughed at you, low and dark. “what’s with that face? never been afraid of death before? i bet ya had it cushy before. ya know, under the sun. while the rest of us were left to rot.”

Sans looked delighted in your discomfort, his smile grew until it rested unnaturally close to his eyes. “i’m not gonna bore ya with the story. ya don’t even care about it, do ya? about the war, the fallen or the new food rations and what that means? the cave-ins…” 

“...”

“of course ya don’t. just know this, buddy, if that little psykopat finds a way to break yer cute little barrier…” His eyes turned pitchblack. “yer as good as dead, d o l l.”

  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Showering Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Behind bars, stinky, grumpy and fed up! Why aren’t there any built in showers in sheds?

* * *

**Showering Acceptance **

**“Toilet paper was the ‘leash’ of her problems.”**

* * *

The heater hummed dutifully, as did Alphys ancient looking computer. It kept the shed warm but your ass was still sore from the halfheartedly made bed in the corner. 

You missed modern day comforts. And food. God, you were so tired of eating canned beans from the dump, but the monsters refused to give you anything else. They just gave you the pre-opened can, no spoon or fork, and made you say “thank you”. They did not accept sarcasm. 

Your hair was greasy and you swore you stank. God, you missed toilet paper. And toilets. And showers. To keep it short, you missed having a basic hygiene routine. It was really gross having to eat beans with your fingers (and your whole face) and only have your own tongue to “clean” yourself. To use the blankets as makeshift napkins seemed sacreligious because they were the only good thing in your life right now. 

You slowly stood up and brushed yourself off. Walking calmly towards the prison bars you stopped by them to rest your forehead with a deep sigh. Your whole life sucked and every joint in your body felt as if they had aged thirty years after having slept on the floor like a dog. Blankets or no blankets, you were grumpy and stiff, dammit!

You hadn’t gotten very far at even attempting making up an escape plan. Two weeks later and you were still in a shed, still containing a toxic cocktail of emotions that did nothing to help keep you focused. Mostly you just watched the new fish lady and her psychotic lizard girlfriend. 

The lizard, Alphys, in turn kept watching you with her freaky glasses that always glinted maliciously whenever she had a breakthrough or another idea for an experiment. Sometimes her fingers twitched like she wanted to do more than just watch you, but so far the presence of Undyne and sometimes Papyrus were enough to persuade her otherwise. Still, you refused to forget how the skeletons referred to her as the psyko. So you kept your distance and tone respectful. 

The whole thing had been nothing more than one humiliating experience after another.

The only time you got to come out from your prison was during the tests performed by Alphys or during “potty” breaks. You only had to get naked once and that had been a cold and embarrassing procedure where you had to stand very still in front of a machine for about an hour while Alphys fiddled with dials and took photos, scanned you and tried to open the barrier of your soul. She hadn’t said much. Just simple commands like, “lift your arms”, or, “turn around”. Sometimes she also muttered her written notes out loud. Once you heard her say, “Experimentation limited since soul cannot be extracted”. It couldn’t be called, summoned or tampered with according to the monsters. It was a great comfort that they could only mess with your physical sense of self and not your spiritual. Though you had to admit, that you were disturbed by the thought of the photos of you in the nude ending up in a report. Much more so when you imagined who might read it.

Undyne kept watch as if you would suddenly attack her girl if she so much as blinked. For once in your life you were glad for all of those communal showers you had to take. It made it a little easier to constantly feel watched and judged. 

Papyrus and Sans were never there during those ‘exposing’ times. Sans was pretty much never in the shed with you and Papyrus always excused himself. At least there was that, whatever good that did for your dignity. 

It was pretty much dead at this point. 

Apparently Undyne had been pissed at Papyrus for not telling her about the new human immediately, but she seemed like the kind of person who’s fuse burned quick and hot. She’d been over it little under a day’s time after meeting you. Ever since Undyne made you wear a collar and a leash so that you could relieve yourself in the woods, her enthusiasm at seeing a human lowered significantly. 

Alphys was harder to get a read on. She was quiet but sometimes while looking at papers or results from scans she would shake ever so slightly. You still didn’t know if it was from anger or excitement. The tests had tapered off after the first few days. Now she was mostly at her quickly assembled lab station at the other end of the shed, watching you and going over what they had learnt. 

“I thought humans were cooler than this.” Undyne, best friend of Papyrus, sentry of Waterfall and borderline sushi plate, said disappointedly.

Alphys fixed her glasses. “It would have been more exciting at the lab.” She said with a shrug.

Undyne pouted. “I still don’t know why we can’t just kill them.” 

“Don’t even think about it!” Alphys hissed unexpectedly. She glanced towards the windows. Undyne caught her look and seemed to understand. “Sorry, babe.”

“I’m right here, you know?” They both turned at your baleful tone. 

Alphys snorted. “Not everything is about you. Now shut up and bite down on this.” She went over with a white plate looking thing. Without ceremony she shoved it towards the general area of your face while looking at you meaningfully. You could feel your mood sourening further at her irritated face above you. Really, you were sick of being pushed around by these stupid giants. Still, you swallowed your ire and reached for the plate thing. It was squishier than you thought it would be. 

“Put it in your mouth.” Alphys told you evenly. 

“Pffft, hahaha!” The sushi plate bellowed. “At least- HAHA- At least ask it out to dinner first!”

You felt your cheeks reddening but bit down on the white surface. Alphys ignored Undyne and told you to press your teeth down harder. You pushed until it felt like you couldn’t anymore before she pried if from you mouth. Looking at the indentation from your teeth she spared a glance at you and Undyne before resolutely walking back to her station. 

You jaw felt sore now. Great. Just when your face was starting to feel normal again. 

“I heard them skittering somewhere in the ceiling last night.” Alphys told Undyne offhandedly. 

Undyne in turn glowered sourly at a wall, muttering, “They wouldn’t if they were dead.” 

“It’s annoying but the data is extraordinary. Right now I’m doing a side-project to observe their behaviour with reduced rations and limited territory. So far one of them were torn in two.”

“So, one less to worry about! That’s great, babe.” 

“Actually”, Alphys smiled. “It divided into two entities.” 

During your stay you’ve learnt not to listen too hard to the two lady monsters. They always managed to talk about something disturbing, gross or confusing. So far, the best tried out method of lessening your anxiety was to pretend they weren’t even there. It hardly worked, but it was all you had. Tuning them out completely you started daydreaming about your old bathroom and your biggest and fluffiest towel. 

There was another hour of boredom and idle daydreaming before the absolutely worst thing happened. 

“hey.” Sans walked into the shed like he owned the place. Which you guessed, he technically did. 

He stepped in, took a few swaggering steps and then stopped dead in his tracks. His face did some complicated things, something you tried not to pay attention to, just incase he looked your way. 

“oh, that’s rank.” He waved a hand next to his face, “pheeew!”

You seethed.

He turned to Alphys in the corner, “bitch, ya work in this?” 

She looked annoyed, fixed her glasses, turned her back towards him and started clacking away at her computer. 

“cunt.” Sans muttered.

“Watch your mouth!” Undyne snapped. 

“i will if ya will.” He made a v with his fingers and showed her his red tongue. 

“UGH! You’re disgusting!”

“me? nah, but the human is.” He turned his skull towards you. You felt yourself shrinking away. 

“That’s just how humans are.” Undyne said crossly. “At least it has manners!”

“whatever, fishface. take it out back and rinse it down.” 

“With what? A hose?”

“if that’s what it takes.”

A loud clatter sounded. Alphys banged down her teamug and swiftly turned around. “And have my subject die from hypothermia? Are you going to have it stand naked in the snow and hose it down with ice-cold water until it dies of shock?

Sans shrugged his shoulders uncaringly. “what, don’t tell me this is what does it fer ya? i mean, i know ya have this weird fascination with humans but is that fetish really enough to ignore this?” He gestured towards your greasy form. You resolutely shut your mouth. 

“It’s not a fetish, it’s an appreciation of human culture!” 

“is this part of that culture? cause its smells worse than jerry.” 

Alphys gasped. You had a feeling you just had the worst insult she’d ever heard thrown at you.

“So what!” Undyne stepped forward, partly hiding Alphys behind her. “It’s gonna be dead soon so what’s the big deal? It’s not like you’re here helping out anyway!” She aggressively poked his chest. “Unlike your brother who takes his job seriously!” 

Sans smacked her hand away, caught it and bent her fingers. “don’t fucking poke me, bitch.” 

“Don’t tell me what to do!” She grappled and tried to bend his fingers back. It was like watching two toddlers duking it out while high on cocaine, fighting with nothing but the palm of their hands and chubby fingers. 

“I’m working!” A mug came soaring between the fighting couple and smashed loudly on the worn floor. It shattered in tiny pieces but the fighting stopped from the shock of it.

“Alphys…!” Undyne turned a big eye towards her girlfriend. 

“You’re both in the way! Take it outside if you’re gonna fight.” Alphys squared up and looked ready to battle. 

“crazy bitch! that was my brothers mug!” Sans met her hateful glare with one of his own. 

“Whatever!” Undyne stomped to the door. “My shift is over anyway! I’m out of here!” She slammed the door behind her. 

There was a tense silence. 

Sans pointedly opened a window and sat down at the uncomfortable stool his brother usually used. During the commotion you had abandoned the prison bars and instead pressed yourself to the wall by your “bed”. It still didn’t help the dread you felt when Sans red eyes found you. You were just waiting for his face to morph again. You glanced at his teeth, they were sharp but no longer resembled thin needles. He looked like he did the first time you met him. None of the other monsters you’d seen had changed their faces like he did that one time he threatened you, which was a relief. 

Sans usually didn’t come to the shed with the others, when he did it was always brief. This was different. 

Alphys still looked angry but soon turned back to her station to work. The sound of her claws on the keyboard filled the room. 

The door opened and Sans skull swiveled to the tall form of his brother walking in. Papyrus swept snow from his shoulder and stomped his bots to loosen any clumps of ice. The keyboard stopped for a second then resumed. 

“Close The Window. You’re Letting Out The Heat.” 

“it stinks.” 

“So Give It A Bath!” Papyrus looked more tired than usual. His sharp uniform wasn’t as straight and there was a slight shadow under his eyes. 

You let your attention switch between the brothers. Something was up. 

“Doctor Alphys.” Papyrus started while his brother grumpily closed the window. The sound of the keyboard came to a dead halt. 

“S-sir.” Alphys never stuttered around anybody else but Papyrus. You didn’t get it. Out of all of them, he was the most level headed one. 

“Bring My Brother The Leash. We Have Business To Discuss.”

She quickly complied. Going over to a locked drawer under her desk, she unlocked it and uncovered the dreaded leash. You shuddered when you realised what this implied. 

Alphys went over to Sans who stood with his hand out, waiting for her to drop it in his sharp looking fingers. The leather creaked when he closed his hand over it. 

You gulped. 

The door to your prison was unlocked. Faster than your mind had time to process you found yourself standing far too close to Sans. He didn’t look happy to be closer to the source of the stink but he bore it with a grim determination to get it done. 

“get over here, human.” He sneered a few paces from you. 

Your feet moved without your consent until you were standing in front of him. 

“move yer hair.” 

You complied and gathered it in your hand. You heard the click when he opened the leash and felt it around your neck. He was trying his hardest not to touch you. Maybe you looked even worse than you smelled? The leather tightened until you could just about fit the tip of a finger between it and your skin. Then he locked it and fastened the leash with a harsh tug that made you nearly lose your footing. 

Sans stepped back from your space and looped the leash around his fist three times. Turning he started heading out, giving you no choice but to follow. Alphys and Papyrus didn’t give you a glance.

“time?” Sans halted by the door leading outside. You almost walked into him.

“Two Hours. Take It To The Back When You Are Done.” Where they going to shoot you behind the barn?! Before you could panic he continued. “I Need You To Move This After.” Papyrus angled his head towards the computer. 

Sans nodded and opened the door. 

“And Sans.”

“yeah, boss?” 

“... Let It In The Bathroom.” 

“sure thing, boss.” He tugged your leash and before you knew it you were freezing outside. Thankfully the walk to the house was short and he didn’t tug, unlike Undyne who always abused the power of the leash when she was impatient and wanted you to walk faster. 

You’ve never been inside the house before. You didn’t even know if they lived there or if it was an official building for sentries of the area until today. 

The christmas lights gave a false sense of comfort but the doormat cleared any misunderstanding. A proud, “FUCK OFF”, and a skull giving you the finger very helpfully told you that all were unwelcome and you better not feel at home. Sans deftly sidestepped the mat in a loose circle, guiding you along in his footsteps. You didn’t question it, just went along quietly. 

Without ceremony, or any threats, Sans let you into the house. 

With your leash temporarily secured between his teeth, he got comfy. He took of his gloves and jacket. You’d never seen him without his jacket before. The red sweater looked warm but the collar around his neck looked nothing but tacky. Although, you really couldn’t say anything about that anymore considering your own. 

It was hard taking in anything more about the house. You were too focused on the fact that Sans, the skeleton who hurt and threatened you was going to… Hose you down? Give you a bath? 

You weren’t ready when he led you to a door under the staircase. The bathroom was small. A quick survey showed that it contained a shower, a bath, a facet, a mirror and numerous places for storage. Something it didn’t contain was… Of course… A toilet. Not that it would matter. You felt like a child in there. You needed something to stand on to even reach the sink, let alone a toilet from your vivid daydreams.

He led you straight to the shower. Once there he stopped, fastened the leash around a narrow pipe and started rummaging around for a towel. You watched numbly. 

“here’s the deal. ya get to take a shower. Use soap, plenty of it. wash yer nasty places, all of them.” 

You were unsure if he knew enough about humans to point out said nasty places. Sans placed the towel at the side of the facet along with a fresh soap. “yer only using this soap.” He tapped it with a finger. “yer not touching any of the fancy ones, got it?” 

“Yeah.”

“yeah?” How did he make his sockets so expressive?

“Got it!” You said tiredly.

He gave you a long look. “alright. i’ll unleash ya fer yer shower. no funny business. i don’t care if yer naked. i will be here faster than ya can blink if i so much as hear something weird.” 

Thank god, he was going to wait outside! You told him you understood and complied when he told you to stand still so he could remove the leash and collar. As soon as he left with a final warning and closed the door you were by the mirror. 

You looked worn. Like you’d been kidnapped (which you kind of had been) and forced to live in a bunker without sunlight for a week. Your wounds were red and looked irritated but not infected. The cut of your lip was scabbed over. It was healing at least. The swelling of your nose had gone down but a big bruise had bloomed across pretty much your entire face. You ghosted your fingers around the edges of it and met your own eyes in the reflection. 

“Breathe.” You took a deep breath, held it and released. “You’re fine. You’re gonna be fine.” 

You’d throw a pity party later. For now you shucked your stinky old clothes and stepped into the shower with your designated soap. All of the dials were too far up for you to reach without true effort and perseverance, you felt like a child with heavy rain coming down hard and all of the bottles in there looked like jugs. Still, the water was warm and felt luxurious after all this time. It washed away the rusty red from your body, the dirt and the salt of your secret cry sessions at night. The soap was harsh and smelled like pine. It stung your lip but you revelled in the feeling of finally being clean. Your hair was shown no mercy. There was no shampoo or conditioner. Pine soap was on the case! You scrubbed your scalp, not caring about what your hair thought about this abhorrent treatment. It was glorious. You nearly cried again from the feeling. 

The shower in itself was nothing special, but it might as well have been a luxury spa as far as you were concerned. Lined according to brand and alphabetic order were the expensive things Sans had told you not to touch. There was a small space next to one of the purple bottles labeled, “BONE CRUSHER: Cinnamon, orange and SPITE”, with a picture of a very shiny skull. You managed to jam your soap next to it so that you could get everything out of your hair. It was slow going. The soap seemed to cling to it, leaving a strange glossy soap feeling. Was it made from slime?! Pinetree slime? 

Knock knock. 

You jumped. The shower trance was broken. 

“don’t waste the water.” Sans mumbled from the other side of the door. 

“Okay!” Nervously you rinsed the soap out and turned off the water. Stepping out of the shower and grabbing your towel gave you a new problem. Worriedly you looked around like the solution was hiding right in front of you. Another knock at the door decided for you. 

“hurry up.”

“I’m done!” You said on reflex. The door started opening. 

“NO!” The door halted. 

“what?”

“I don’t have any clothes!”

There were no further movements from the door. Sans swore. 

“stay there. don’t move.” As if you would dare! 

He was gone for a minute then his arm came from behind the door with a bundle. “got ya some stuff.” 

“Thanks.” Cautiously you took it from him. The arm retreated and the door closed. He didn’t say anything else and you hurriedly toweled off the worst of it and put on the new clothes. They looked old and worn but well loved. Black and red, just like everyone else down here. The pants pinched your hips and the sweater fell to mid-tight. It was alright. A vast improvement to your old clothes. You did miss your underwear though.

“... Sans?” 

There was no answer. 

It was now or never! 

You grabbed your dirty underwear from the pile, worn for weeks and ready for its death sentence, and dragged one of the smaller storage units over so you could reach the facet. You did your best with warm water and soap before trying to wring it out. You hoped they didn’t take offense to your sad panties hanging to dry on the lowest hook away from the towels. It felt weird to hang it there, like you had to hide it behind something... But desperate times calls for desperate measures. Hopefully it would dry soon or maybe you could convince someone to let you come get it later. 

Sans still hadn’t said anything or knocked. Indecisive, you stood by the door. Technically you hadn’t been given permission to leave. Thankfully you didn’t have to wait long. 

“ya done?” Sans asked from the other side of the door.

“Yeah.” The door opened. If he saw your panties hanging on the hook he didn’t mention it. 

“hair.”

You moved your hair away from your neck. The collar and the leash were back on. Now you felt even weirder about your sad panties. Oh no, wait! Maybe you could cram them into the- Oh. Never mind. Sans started walking. You had no choice but to follow. 

He didn’t take you back to the shed. Instead he took you to a small home office and directed you to sit on the chair opposite the desk. You gave him a questioning look but his expression told you he wasn’t in the mood to explain. You settled for looking at the floor and waiting. 

Five minutes later made you very aware of the cold water dripping down your borrowed clothes from your hair. You wished you had a brush and a blowdryer. Feeling the wetness seeping down your spine gave you goosebumps. Daring to glance around to distract yourself from the feeling you saw a desk, filled with papers and books. It was orderly, well used and- Hold on.

You tilted your head to read the title. “HUMAN HEALTH”, said the main title. A smaller text under it continued, “And how not to accidentally kill them!” 

What? 

Looking a the bookcase behind the desk you saw books about nature's law, magic and, “INTENSE PET CARE FOR DUMMIES.” Followed by smaller books crammed into the corners on the highest shelves. One was in a bright orange colour, “HUMANS DESCENDED FROM SKELETONS”, by Octopus Marvin. All the books varied but had the same theme. Humans. Their bodies, their souls their customs and… Yoga?

It seemed either the terrifying Papyrus was looking for a pet… Or he was really… REALLY interested in human health. Dare you say, he was interested in keeping you alive may- 

Papyrus opened the door loudly. Immediately you tried to pretend you weren’t dying to go over his bookcase with a fine comb. He went straight for the office chair and opened a drawer. He took out papers and his glasses. Unfolding the glasses he put them on and straightened his back. “The Doctor Is Ready Now, Sans.” He fiddled with the papers. 

Holy shit. You completely forgot Sans was in the room! 

“consider it done.” Sans left with a sigh. You were alone with Papyrus who looked like an edgy principal preparing for a meeting with parents of entitled brats. 

He turned a paper towards you. “Sign Here.” 

“What’s this”? Your hand reached forward to tug it closer. 

“Your Release Form.” 

You stilled. 

Papyrus chair creaked when he leaned back and closed his sockets. It was just a few seconds before he opened them again. “You Have Permission To Move Freely Through Snowdin Territory Under Supervision Until Further Notice.” 

“I…” Your hand was shaking. You put it on your lap. “Why?”

Papyrus released a sigh. “I Will Only Say This Once.” He looked irritated. “The Human Soul Lingers After Death. It Can Last Outside Of A Body Longer Than A Monster Soul. All Souls Shatter In The End... If You Were Killed Today Your Soul Would Leave Your Body And Break. It Wouldn’t Be Of Any Use. Your Barrier Is A Passive Ability That Would Make It Impossible To Collect.” 

“So…” You worried the scab on your lip. “What does that mean for me. If I’m not… Terminated? 

“It Means-”, He pushed the paper closer to you and tapped the paper. “Sign Here.” 

The pen was black and sleek. The ink flowed smoothly and then it was done. 

Papyrus, in a certain light, almost seemed to smile. “Welcome To Snowdin.” 

  
  


-

-

-

  
  


Before you knew what happened, there you stood. Collarless, no leash in sight and outside, ready to start your new life in a town full of monsters. The only things you had with you were hastily packed in a worn backpack, kindly thrown at you while at the door by a scowling Papyrus, and heavy paperwork, also bestowed upon you by Papyrus. 

Your hair was still wet from the shower. After just about two minutes of standing in the snow like a dummy you could feel how your hair started to freeze. 

“Shit.” 

A quick shake of your head later, and a whispering chant telling yourself to get your shit together while tightening your grip on your hefty paperwork, you were ready to fake it till you make it. The paperwork was the only proof you had of being allowed to stay alive. 

Don’t!

Lose! 

It! 

One last look back at the brothers house and you were off to the woods. 

  
  
  
  


* * *

Sans, standing outside the bathroom while sweating: this isn’t weird

Sans, finding the sad panties on a hook later that night: alright, this is a little weird

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next one will probably not be up as fast as this one. Still, heads up for, "Freedom comes Cold, 'Pink nosed whisky encounter'!


	3. Freedom comes Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new beginning but freedom seldom comes without a price tag.

* * *

**Freedom comes Cold**

**“Pink nosed whisky encounter.”**

* * *

It was just like you left it- A barely standing shack of horror, with no possibility of renovation, no plumbing and no chimney. In other words... 

“Home sweet home!” 

You kicked off the snow from your boots and stepped into the building. Hands on your hips, back straight and a keen eye looking it over to see if anyone else had been there since you left. Nope, nothing out of the ordinary. Still drafty, dreary and dark.

After you left the ruins behind, this was the only building you found outside of Snowding that didn’t contain an angry ball of hatred. The hinges of the door sounded like dying cats in heat whenever you dared to move it, but other than that it was functional. The inside had been stripped (previously robbed), so there were no furniture or decorations to speak of. There was a huge pile of dust by the only existing window and pale spots on the wall were there had been posters or paintings before. There was one particular spot where there was a clear silhouette of a giant vintage clock, since long looted and gone. The shack wasn’t a place you felt particularly safe or warm in, but it would have to do. 

You had, quite shamelessly, squatted here for a short while before Sans the buzzer fiend had found you. You knew you should have stayed off the path, but maybe you’d grown a little cocky in your short time underground. 

You dumped your bag by the door with a sigh. It felt unreal being back here. With… Permission? Did this mean you could go into town, get a job and start… Trying for some kind of life here? Maybe life down here wouldn’t be so bad after-

“knock knock.”

Oh no. 

Without a shadow of a doubt, Sans the skeleton stood behind the newly closed door of your cold shack. But you just saw him! Not even two hours ago! You weren’t mentally prepared for this. 

“... Who’s there?” You tensed your shoulders. 

“boo…”

“Uh, boo who?” 

“fucking crybaby!” An obnoxious laugh rang out along with the offended screeching of door who’d rather die than be opened. Sans kicked it in like yesterday's garbage kicked the curb.  Your door stood no chance against his tacky shoes or shark like senses for vulnerable women with poor homesecurety in the underground.

“hehe.” Sans chuckled when the upper hinge of your door broke. “this place is a dump!”

You watched helplessly as Sans let himself in. “You can’t come in here!” You tried. “I have the paperwork right here!” You waved it desperately, “So… Uh! Papyrus said it was okay for me to come here!”

He rolled his eyes, “yeah, i know, doll.” Disinterest he looked around, “just making sure… yer all… set.” He let his red pinpricks look you over slowly. 

You felt the hair on your arms raise. “I’m good, thanks.” You said tersely. 

“uh-huh.” 

Before you had time to think about it you found yourself backing away when he walked further into your shack. Sans walked by close enough for you to feel the heat his magic naturally emitted. It was a meager second, but it was enough for your hackles to rise further. 

He rapped his knuckles on the walls and stomped on the floor. You watched him, not sure what to think. 

“Uh, what… What are you doing?”

“hm?” He didn’t pay attention to you. Rather he was looking at the floor by the window. “hehehe…” He chuckled. You assumed it was an insult to your shacks general unkempt state. The giant pile of dust certainly wasn’t helping in convincing him of your homemaking skills. 

He did another lap around the meager space. Testing the walls and floorboards, checking the corners and further fraying your nerves. It was easier before when other people knew he was with you and would give him shit for killing you. 

Now it was just you and him with nobody else around who cared. 

Alone. 

In the middle in the woods in an abandoned shack. Your life was a horror movie.

You eyed the sad looking excuse for a door. Maybe if you ran away- No, you’ve been trapped for too long, too out of shape and clumsy… Sans was a big boy, but he could be very fast when he wanted to be. 

His big stupid head was turned away from you, but you had a strong feeling he would react in a heartbeat if you even tried moving to the door. Your courage flagged and died as quickly as it came. 

“Look, I give up. What do you want?” You said tiredly. 

“didn’t read the contract, did ya?” He gave you a toothy grin. Something about his expression made you feel judged. 

You glanced at the papers still in your hands. It was a pretty hefty stack to bravely read in Papyrus office, something you didn’t even think about doing while you were there. He said, “Sign Here”, and you obeyed like a life-loving coward looking forward to living. There was something about the massive, terrible Papyrus that screamed not to let him wait. Ever. 

“Uh, I mean…” You faltered at Sans look. “I was briefed… Briefly about it. And I was gonna!” You hugged the papers to your chest. “Gonna read it when I got home! Which I am now, so go away so that I can start doing that!” 

He didn’t look impressed. Not that you thought he ever had very high thoughts about you to begin with. 

“well, doll. If I were you, I’d hurry the fuck up and skip to the, ‘kill the human when...’, section.” He scratched his cheek.

Your mouth opened, closed and opened again. 

“page 54.”

With controlled movements you handled the stack of papers. Skimming the pages you stopped at page 54 as instructed, “Section 4-8-6, Jurisdiction- PAPYRUS. Part a1, Underground Faction regulation; Section 5B- Conditions Of Human Extermination agreement.” You held it in your hands, read it, looked at Sans’ face, read it again, made sure you were really holding what you signed and then stopped. 

“...” 

“yeah… there’s a lot to read there, pal. ya can read, right?” 

“...”

“gonna be a bummer if ya can’t.” He chuckled. “fer ya, that is.”

“No, wait.” You curled over the papers, bending your back and backing yourself into the corner of the room. You looked at the pages following part a1, reading without understanding what you were seeing. “I… Wait, wait… This can’t be right.”

Sans stayed quiet. 

You started skipping pages quickly, trying to find something to ground you, trying to swallow the sudden panic rising up along the bile in your throat. 

“How long is that section?” You asked yourself out loud with an unflattering squeak. 

“there there, dolly.” Sans deep voice rumbled. Far. Too. Close. 

You found yourself looking up further than usual. When did you sit down on the floor? Sans stood over you, a sight that brought back some very unpleasant memories. You cowered in his shadow, still clutching the damning contract. 

“don’t ya worry bout nothing. see, the moment ya fuck up…” His eye lights went out. “i’ll be there.” 

You were frozen when he went down to your level and patted your cheek with his huge bony hand. “see ya later, h u m a n.”

  
  


-

  
  


-

  
  


-

  
  


An honest to god, heart wrenching crying session later after Sans left, you were feeling empty. 

Your upper door hinge was broken and you could be killed by anyone anywhere if you even thought about doing anything wrong. You would probably be beaten to death by Sans. No wait, bitch slapped to death by Sans (previous experience far too fresh). You had no one who cared about you down here. The shack was cold and shitty, you didn’t have a job or money or… Or warmth or a toilet. 

You started crying again. 

Red rimmed and irritated, your eyes were wet yet felt dry. You angrily tried to dry your tears but they just kept falling. “Get a grip.” You slapped yourself. “Get a fucking grip!” You pinched yourself on the inside of your upper arm. Hissing you clenched your teeth. Releasing the skin you let out a breath and leaned back on the wall. 

“I’m gonna live.” You muttered. “I’m gonna live!” The floor made a hollow thud when you hit it with a fist but it was enough. You were resolute. You weren’t gonna rot here. You were gonna prosper! Sans could peep through your windows, come to your shack and do whatever the hell he wanted. He wasn’t going to scare you from trying to live here! He wouldn’t catch you doing anything! 

Today had been exhausting but you felt better now that you had a goal. 

Outside the window, the underground was dark. First thing tomorrow, you were going to go out there and get a job. For now, it was time to sleep and hopefully you’d wake up bright and early with a new life ahead of you.

  
  
  


-

-

-

  
  
  
  


“Hello, sorry to bother you but-” The door closed in your face.

-

  
  


-

  
  


-

  
  


“Hi! I’m a human and I’m looking for-” You were shoved out of the store.

-

  
  


-

  
  


-

  
  


“... Wow, I love ice-cream! You look like you’re pretty busy, huh? Maybe you could use another pair of hands to-” The blue furred bunny dude rolled his cart away. 

-

  
  


-

  
  


-

  
  


Your head sank. 

Okay, so finding a job was harder than you thought. Snowdin was small, too small for the kind of opportunity you were looking for. Nobody wanted to hire a human, not even a desperate one willing to work for crumbs and a glass of water. You still weren’t sure about eating snow when you were thirsty. Pretty sure that gives you worms or something? At least that’s what your babysitter told you once. 

Your belly gurgled. Groaning you clutched your stomach and looked around. Maybe you could start trying to eat bark from the pine trees? You read people ate bark during hard times somewhere… But are you really that desperate? 

Maybe.

Staring at the treeline forlornly wasn’t going to solve anything, but maybe walking further into town would. 

You set out back to Snowdin where the glares were cold but the clipped rejections were even colder. The shopkeeper bunny, who in another life would have been adorable, gave you nothing short of a deranged smile when she saw you come back into town from her shopswindow. It gave you the shivers. 

There was this heavy feeling down here, like the monsters thrived on other’s misery. Like, it made them feel good to see you struggle to get by. They were either glaring at you if you tried to talk to them or they outright ignored you like you didn’t exist.

You decided to keep your head down walking in further. It started to get dark out so it wasn’t until you saw a light reflecting on the snow that you looked up from pure curiosity. 

Grillby’s stood proud amongst the darkness. Filled with rowdy voices, loud laughter and jeers from the group of dogs playing cards, the place looked almost welcoming. The bartender’s flame made it look beautiful and otherworldly. Kind of like the feeling you got in your heart when you thought of magical beings as a child. For a moment you let yourself soak up the scene and forget how cold your legs and feet were.

Then your eyes were pulled by something moving. A dark mass shifted next to the bar. It took you only a second to recognize that pale round skull and the big fluffy looking jacket but when you did your mouth slipped into an displeased frown. As if he could feel your eyes, Sans turned his head and looked out the window. His red pinpricks found you with a snap. 

There was a second which felt like a whole minute before he grabbed his glass on the bar and raised it in your direction with a smug smirk. ‘Look’, he seemed to say with the gesture, ‘I’m in here cozy and warm while you’re out there, cold and pathetic.’

As soon as his unspoken insult had hit home, Sans turned around to the bartender and ordered another. You were dismissed. An insignificant ant in the great world, not worthy of his attention. 

Looks like you weren’t going to be getting a job at  Grillby’s . At least not as long as Sans went there. Now that you thought about it, wasn’t that douchebag gonna be hanging out at most places in Snowdin? It was a small place after all, so it wasn’t just you being depressed and paranoid. The fewer encounters you had with him the better! That was the only silverlining you could find about your unemployment- Less chance to put your eyeballs through the strain of having to see that guy! Just seeing him on the other side of that window was enough for you.

Really, you were too tired and hungry to get mad at him. Or even scared of him. There was only so much he could do to you under the contract. So far you hadn’t broken any rules so he couldn’t legally touch you. The greatest concern was the lack of heating or food in your shack, your lack of a job and the everlasting search for toilet paper. 

With a heavy sigh you started trudging back to the shack, your soul rank with the smell of failure. 

You didn’t get very far.

“Hey. Hey, you!”

At first you didn’t register the low voice, not until you heard a loud hiss, like an angry cat. Your head swivelled around until a dim glow in the alley next to Grillby’s caught your attention. The glowing butt of a cigarette lit up before the smell of a billowing cloud of smoke wafted towards you. 

“Yeah, you!” The voice hissed. “You’re that weirdo, aren’t you?”

“Uh”, you replied, frozen mid-step. The glowing eyes opened wider over the cigarettes glow. They were an intense green.

“Well? You’re the human, right?” The green eyes shifted in the dark. 

“Yeah, that’s me. The… Human.” Holy shit. There is a shifty looking literal monster in a dark alleyway luring you closer. And you were falling for it. You couldn’t help taking a few hesitant steps closer.

“Heh, yeah. Thought so.” You could see how the life was sucked out of the cigarette with one breath. Right after that, another cloud of smoke smacked you in the face. It made you feel dirty. 

While your eyes watered and you tried to discreetly blink it away, the voice continued. “So, you’re looking for work, right? Take it from me, little buddy, you won’t find it in this crappy town.” 

“Yeah? Well, this is where I live now. So gotta… You know…” Was it inappropriate to smile? You felt stupid. “Keep trying!”

“Heh, you won’t last a day with that attitude.” From the dark an orange cat monster stepped out. He looked tired when he dropped the butt of the cigarette on the ground and took out another, lighting it lazily while watching you. 

His whiskers were short, his left ear was torn and his fur looked thick. He reminded you of late Mr. Numnums, the brave, grumpy and cuddly cat you’d seen around your old neighborhood.

“It’s nice to plan ahead for the future. I would too, if I had one.” He smiled bitterly. You didn’t know what to say to that so you kept quiet. 

“So.” He flicked away ashes with a deft movement. “I’ve been watching you for a bit. You really suck at this. This, fitting in business, I mean.” He gave you a critical once over. “They can barely even stand to look at you.” He said when his gaze reached your eyes again. 

“Excuse me, I’m doing the best I can to ge-”

He interrupted you with a laugh. “Nah, buddy, you’re really not. And it’s perfect!”

You studied his body language for a bit, trying to figure it out instead of getting offended. “What are you implying?” 

“I’m saying you just got hired.”

“What?”

“Look, I know what it’s like to be different, have dreams and all that shit. But let’s face it, dreams are called dreams for a reason, right?” 

“That’s… Dark.”

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s shitty. So let me give you some advice, little buddy. Never trust well adjusted people! They will take you, crush your spirit in their grubby metallic hands and laugh at you while playing a peppy soundtrack where the lyrics are all about how you’re a fucking failure!” He crushed his cigarette in his fist angrily. “I’m all out of vacation days and I’m already in hell!” 

You took a step back. He noticed and straightened himself. Regarding the crushed cig he threw it in the snow and took out another one. Though this one looked different. It had a faint blue shimmer. Taking a long drag he held it in for a while before letting the smoke escape his mouth and little cute pink cat nose. His eyes lidded and it was as if all his anger just disappeared. “So anyway…” He continued like the outburst never happened. “You’re gonna die, buddy. Or at least, your dreams are. Take it from me. I’m  23  years old and I’ve already wasted my entire life. But-” He paused with a finger in the air, “at least you can make some gold from other people's crushed dreams, too!” 

“Wait, what is this job about? So far it doesn’t sound like a job offer at all.” It didn’t sound very pleasant either. 

He took another drag. His cat eyes were almost completely black now. The pupil big and perfectly round. It was very cute. You had to actively concentrate on the conversation. 

“I’m Felix, some call me BP, don’t ask why. I’m a drug dealer on the side, if you know what I mean...”

Okay, that woke you up from your cat induced feelings of safety and moral decency. “What? For real? You?” He was far too cute!

“That’s right, little buddy! And you are, too!”

“No I’m not!” 

“Yeah, you are.”

“No! I’m not a-” You looked around sneakily and lowered your voice. “...I’m not a drug dealer.” You whispered. 

“Check your pocket.” 

You really didn’t want to check your pocket. You had the worst feeling in your gut. Still, your hand went to your pocket where you immediately felt a small packet. It was covered in rough paper and sorta thick. You grabbed it and pulled it out to look at it. It was neatly folded in dark paper with faint indents of cigarettes, which you now very strongly suspected weren’t just ordinary cigarettes. 

“Old supplier chain, the bunny lady keeping the inn, you know? Well, she was killed a while back. Market is still thirsty and we’ve got the suppliers. Do you understand, little buddy?”

“What is this? Is it… Marijuana?” You whispered the last part, just waiting for Sans to burst out of the bar, ready to call Papyrus and prepare the invitations for your public execution. 

“Never heard of that before. Any good?” His ears perked. 

“I don’t know. But what is it?” You indicated the little package. 

“Just some herbs, some echoflowers, dust and dreams, you know?”

“And you smoke this to get high?” 

He looked at you like you were dumb. “Yes. Just dusty dreams. Called EDD, stands for echo dream dust. So… You in, buddy?”

You looked at the packet. It looked innocent in your hand. Easy to hide and easy to carry- Wait a minute!

“I’m not gonna sell drugs!” 

Felix threw gold coins on the ground. They plopped partway into the snow, but the gold still glimmered from the light in the bar. “That’s your cut just for that order. More than enough to buy food for a week.”

“That’s drug money!”

He shrugged. “Better than starving to death. Nothing is for free down here. Get used to it.”

“But I don’t know anything about drugs!” 

“Good. Tell that to the royal guards if they catch you and we’re set.”

Felix started heading back into the dark alleyway. “Client is the bunny lady in the shop, late supplier chain’s sister. She ordered a pick-me-up. Make sure she gives you 2000 for it and get the gold to me, got it? You’ll do it. Meet me by the border of waterfall in three days so we can get this rolling.” He said over his shoulder. 

“I didn’t say I’d do it!” You tried. 

“We’ll kill you if you don’t, buddy!” He laughed and then he was gone. 

The gold coins were still there. 

After only a moment's hesitation, you bent down to collect the coins into your hands. They clinked as they settled in your pocket, but the weight was comforting. You turned away to head back to the bunny ladie’s store before you changed your mind when- 

“Remember I’ll be watching you, BUDDY!” Felix hissed in your face, appearing from nowhere right as you turned, scaring you half to death. 

He clipped your shoulder roughly as he passed you, again heading back to the alley where you hoped he would stay this time. Clutching your chest, you stared after him while feeling your heart racing. 

At least you didn’t piss yourself.

The bunny lady’s shop was still opened when you got there. The dull shopbell sounded like the sad dusty  jingle  of an 86 year old mans viagra pills, stuck in an old tin jar, disguised as caramels. Or maybe that was just your emotional state.

The lady seemed to sour when she saw you but she didn’t say anything until you reached the counter. “Get out, freak.” She said camly. 

“I-” Your hand tightened around the small packet in your pocket. “I’m sorry about your loss.” 

Her angry features tightened, “If it weren’t for the guard, you’d already be dead before you reached the first lamppost by the village square!” Her eyes were hard, the pain buried deep, yet untouched under the ice. Her shop had perfect vantage point to see it from where she stood. “Now, shut up and get out.” 

You swallowed, knowing you had messed up again. Silence always seemed to be your best bet, so you relied on it once again. Slowly, as to not startle, you took out the packet, got on the tip of your toes to reach, and placed it on the counter, in front of her crossed arms. She looked down and her face went slack. 

You retracted your hand quicker than you placed it down and returned it to your pocket. Trying to give her a little space, waiting for a que of some sort. You weren’t quite sure how this was meant to play out. 

Her pupils shrank and expanded several times in uneven intervals. It settled on small pinpricks and sharpened.

“EDD.” She uncrossed her arms and leaned on the counter heavily. “Where the hell did you get your hands on this, human?” She question harshly. 

“Felix or, uh, BP.” 

“Ha!” Her laugh was short and sharp. “That dusty old fucker. Always moving something that one.” She swiped the packet from the counter and hid it in her cleavage. As soon as she was done she gave you a look, bent down and rooted around until she got her paws on some hidden compartment you couldn’t quite see from where you stood. It sort of felt like a test when she did that. But you were pretty sure that particular compartment would forever stay empty after this indication of its existence. She slapped down a pile of gold on the counter between you, still looking you in the eyes. Her smile was too sharp to be sincere. 

“Will that be all?” She asked.

You gave a glance to her wares, feeling the gnawing in your gut you made a decision. “No. I’ll have two cinnamon bunnies, please.” You rooted around in your pocket and got out the needed gold for them. The lady looked fed up already but accepted the money without a big fuss and gave you your treat. They were as big as footballs, but you managed to balance them. 

“Now get the fuck out.” She hissed, still smiling. 

You gathered the money she’d given you for the EDD and hurried out the door, the sad jingle following you. 

You’d just sold drugs for money. You… You were a drug dealer.

You were a criminal! 

  
  
  


* * *

What reader says: They won’t catch me doing nothing cause I won’t do nothing wrong ever

What reader does: Welp, time to sell some drugs (donning drug lord hat)

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The soft version of Underfell
> 
> Thanks for all the kudos and comments!
> 
> Next up: "Smooth criminal walking, 'Nothing to see here! Everything's normal!'


	4. Smooth criminal walking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tense conversations, the will to live and Papyrus secretly calling his big brother for help in embarrassing matters

* * *

**Smooth criminal walking**

“Nothing to see here! Everything's normal!” 

* * *

The day after becoming a drug lord… Drug mule? Druggie? 

… The day after you had drugs in your pocket and then quickly delivered the drugs to somebody else, you were a nervous wreck. 

The buns you bought were sweet. Your stomach was full but you viewed everything with suspicion while trying to not be under any. Suspicion that is, since the bone brothers were still terrifying and very much in town. 

Still, the gold clinked merrily and you loved to have it. Very carefully, you had separated your payment from the money made from the bunny lady. The gold was then hidden in different places around your shack. 

When the time came to meet with Felix, you would be ready to hand the (drug) money over. Hopefully you wouldn’t be shanked, like people got during drug deals in those violent movies you sometimes watched. Another hope of yours was that this would be the first and last time you ever had to do this. That it was a one time kinda thing that you would think back on in the ripe old age of 96, surrounded by your numerous beautiful and talented grandchildren. Then you would think, “Ah, I made it!” As in, you didn’t get shanked because of a drug deal gone wrong. 

The woods were looming. They should be more than able to hide anyone spying on you. Not that you thought Sans would hide behind a tree to catch you doing anything. No, he was more the break in you door kinda guy. Even though you knew this you were still nervous about the trees. 

You used to love them! They were great for hiding, foraging and such things. Without them you would never dare take off your pants to piss. Let’s be honest here, you were a bit of a mental wreck at the moment. Even when mother nature called, you had to circle you chosen plot several times, like a dog, before easing your nerves enough to go. 

This special little toilet plot could be found a few metres from your shack and had lovingly been named the graveyard; Because of the medium sized sticks you’d placed out to warn yourself. The sticks, from a distance, reminded you of little sad tombstones that basically told you, “don’t step here!” Your greatest fear about the graveyard was stepping into your own waste. It would be like professing yourself the mediocre comedic failure of a person that you were in real life. You didn’t want to get dodo on your only functioning pair of shoes. Especially not while trying to convince yourself that you were still in control of your life, had pride and enough savvy to make it big in the future. No. Thank you, but no.

But enough about your outdoor toilet (don’t cry)! You had other matters to attend to. Such as avoiding, without seeming to, skeletons roaming around. For a pair of guys with such a big presence, they should be easy to stay clear off. Sadly, several things had become apparent over the last few hours you had tried. 

Number one, both of them patrolled. A lot. 

Number two, they always spotted you right away. Papyrus with a sneer and Sans with a smile with way too many teeth. 

Number three, you were a paranoid coward convinced somebody would rat you out. Any second ticking by could be your last. What if they just stormed up to you, screeching and raising their fists? They’d come to beat you to death- No, sorry, slap you to death, as is their preferred method of bullshit. 

There was no time to worry about all that now! 

Some of your (drug) payment pile was taken with you as you went out to get some essentials in Snowdin. Even if you didn’t like how you managed to get the cash you still needed it desperately until you could get a job of sort in this weird place. 

You managed to buy some things once you made it to the few shops strewn about town. Actually, you managed to get a lot of things. All of them were a little bigger than you were used to but still functional. You got a pot, mug, plate, more cinnamon bunnies, some utensils and blankets. There were no bags in the shops so you placed everything you could in the huge pot in order to carry it back home. Honestly, you were just thankful the monsters accepted your coins and didn’t refuse your patronage because of your race. 

You had just turned away from the last shop of the day. It just so happened to contain a certain angry bunny, who you may or may not, have sold drugs to, when Papyrus made himself known. 

“You There!” He barked at you from afar. He made his way over quickly, an easy feat with those long legs of his. He was fast enough that your panicked thoughts had less time to escalate into darker, more paranoid territory, and resigned themselves to just remain surprised. It gave you a startled and baffled look. A face that Papyrus was forced to look upon with his no-nonsense sensibility and a growing feeling of indignation. Then again, Papyrus was always feeling some degree of insult or indignation in his daily work life. 

“Take This!” He threw a bag down in the snow. It landed with a muted thump and landed on its side. “Don’t Bother Thanking Me For My Generosity!” 

“Papyris?” You managed to stutter out with wide eyes.

“Papyrus, Human!” He corrected and stopped in front of you with crossed arms. His tattered red scarf billowed behind him when the wind picked up, forcing some of your hair into your still open mouth. 

“Pfftwhaa!” You said intelligently. 

He rolled his eyes at you. “Stop Eating Your Hair!” You really didn’t mean to. “As You Can Smell I Only Used The Best Detergent Considering Your Gross Human Skin Fragility!”

You looked down, still with hair stuck on you tongue. Oh my, these sure looked familiar. In the bag were your old clothes that were left in their bathroom. You were so sure you’d never see them again. Who knew Papyrus was so kind?

“Papyrus!” His cheekbones tinted slightly at your happy tone. The colour went as quickly as it came. Bending down you got the bag and placed it alongside everything else in the pot. “Thank you so much! Oh, and thank you for lending me these clothes and… Uh, releasing me from prison and stuff.” Wow, you sounded and felt like an airhead saying that last part. Too late now. 

“I Said Don’t Thank Me! And You Can Keep The Clothes.” He frowned deeper. “They Were Ugly Anyway.” 

“Oh…” Today was filled with surprises. Maybe Papyrus wasn’t such a bad guy?

Papyrus leaned down to meet your eyes once you managed to free your mouth from your own hair. He flicked his pupils from you to your filled pot meaningfully several times before you cracked under the pressure. 

Tilting the pot slightly you showed him your prize. “I did some, uh… I did some shopping.” He remained quiet while he inspected your wares. Then he extended a long arm to go through them, moving them about and generally being nosy in your opinion. Okay, so maybe he wasn’t such a good guy after all. 

He took out your newly acquired mug, one with a chip at the top but with delicately painted red and blue flowers on the sides. His frown grew.

“Human.” The mug was twisted in his grip. “Where did you get the gold for this?” The ceramic clinked against his sharp finger when he tapped its side. 

You almost ratted yourself out right away. It was pure instinct. Past experiences had taught you not to blindly trust those instincts though, because Papyrus looked nothing like your pissed off mother asking you about who drew what on the wallpaper. The captain of the guard still looked plenty scary, though not quite as scary as your mother in a mood. 

You managed to stutter out a blatant lie. “I was… Uh, I was doing odd jobs last night. You know, favours?” Right, because all the monsters were just dying to hire you!

If he believed you or not was still up for debate since he looked very disapproving (or was it disappointed?) at your answer. “Really?” He straightened so he no longer loomed over you. He still had your mug in his hand. “What kind of favours?” He narrowed his sockets at you.

“Uh…” It felt like you were back in the shed that first day he questioned you. “The kind that… Gets you gold fast?” 

Papyrus froze. 

Even the mug that he had been idly twirling in his hand looked like it was suspended in time. Then something weird happened. It started from under his scarf and travelled to the top of his head. It was a blush that nearly glowed against the white snow.

“What?” You asked.

Papyrus’ fangs seemed to lengthen. They didn’t get thin like needles, like Sans’ did. Instead they seemed to grow longer and thicker. His eyes were nothing short of terrifying in their fury. “What Did You Say?”

You jumped at his tone. “S-sorry!” You squeaked out, now with a newfound understanding towards Alphys and her stuttering around Papyrus. 

His breathing grew heavier though you could see how he tried to control himself. He made his shoulders untense with pure willpower and unclenched the hand not holding the mug.

“Human…” He said through gritted fangs. Delicately placing the mug back into the pot with surprising grace he nearly hissed at you, “I Need To Consult With My Co-worker.” The mug made a dull click against the rim of the pot when it slid down. “Go Straight Home.” He told you with a glare. 

“Did I do something wrong?” 

His fangs went back to their regular appearance, the red receded until his bones were back to being a pearly white. “We Shall See.” He said ominously. 

Still he let you be on your way, so that counts as a victory, right? 

He seemed busy. As soon as he was done with you he got on his phone, seemingly barking orders at some poor schmuck. If anyone needed a relaxing spa day, it was that guy. Or a course in mindfulness, where he was not allowed to think about work. Though maybe that would straight up kill him. He didn’t even turn to see if you followed his orders to go home! Which you still did, but you took your sweet time doing it. You needed a nice long walk anyway to clear your head. Both your arms and legs were tired, but the cold air felt refreshing. 

You’d seen both Papyrus and Sans today. They were doing their job by patrolling and harrassing you. It wasn’t helping your nerves at all. Especially not after the intense meeting you just had! Were they setting up an ambush to put a stop to your drug dealing ways? Maybe that was what that thing had been about? 

Oh, god, you were a dirty criminal! A criminal doing crimes! And they were on to you!

It happened yesterday but it felt like your whole existence down here consisted of you doing either time in a shoddy shed, or committing felonies. You felt like you were on the run from the law, minus the robbed bank or the loyal horse riding into the sunset. Preferably with you on it, the horse that is, not the sunset. 

It would only be a matter of time before the brothers got wise to your ways, realized their mistake and finally, “took care”, of you- If they hadn’t wisened up already. Technically speaking you were barely let loose for 24 hours before selling drugs in the local community... 

Oh, gosh. You can just feel the acid in your throat. You were too young for heartburn or whatever this was. Maybe it was because of the exorcise? Your calves had started to burn slightly by now. You were so out of shape! Time to descend into the fiery pit of depression and unhealthy paranoia with a side dish of bad eating habits.

Look at you. You even started stress eating one of the cinnamon bunnies on your way home despite the acid in your throat!

But that bullshit was quickly the last thing on your mind as your greatest horror scenario came true. Cinnamon bunny stuffed in your mouth making you look like a startled hamster, a grumpy looking Sans faced you near the end of the woods you’d skipped along.

Was this the ambush you’d been waiting for all day? 

“ya look stupid.” Were the charming words he said to you on this beautiful day of ever growing paranoia and distress. Well, one of the charmingly hurtful things he had said to you whenever he saw you walking around while looking suspicious today. 

“Buaahm…!” You tried to say, startled, little pieces of bun flying from your mouth. Why you were startled by this point was even a mystery to yourself. You knew the brothers had a way of knowing when you were up and about. You just didn’t know how they knew. 

“what’s in yer mouth?” 

“Bnoootheen…!” You chewed faster. Unbeknownst to you, this was the most disgusting thing Sans had seen all day. 

“what are ya eating? i know you ain’t got no fridge!” Was it just you or did Sans sometimes have an accent? 

You swallowed pieces of the bun, “Bunny.” You simply said and continued to chew frantically, looking shifty and nervous. 

Sans weird red dot pupils shifted from your bulging cheeks to the little bits of food on the ground. He had a worrisome look about him. “is that bread?” He asked slowly. 

You nodded. 

“huh.” He looked thoughtful. “did ya steal it?” 

You swallowed, a challenge considering you seemed to have a heavy rock of anxiety and bile rising in your throat. Sudden flashes of being bitch slapped played in your mind, intermingled with leashes and a distinct lack of showers.

“No!” You wiped crumbs from your face. “I bought them! I didn’t break any laws!” None of the laws! None of them! Maybe just a tiny one about the no-no on drugs things, but other than that you hadn’t done anything. “Ask your brother! He saw me  not doing any crimes!” Shut up, shut up, shut up!

“uh-huh.” 

Go you. He looked super impressed and convinced. 

“Look.” You said tiredly. “I’m still stressed and freaked out-” Sans grin rose higher. “... And you’re kind of intimidating, okay?!” A faint line of red appeared on Sans cheeks. You didn’t notice. 

“But I’m just trying to live here, okay?” God, should you ask, ‘okay’, again? Stop talking! 

“whatever”, he spat dismissively. “seeing as you’re as pathetic as ever”, his red dots swept over you, “don’t know if it’s worth the energi.” 

“Yeah, you should just… Go do other things! And I’ll go and do my things! Okay?” Dammit, you said ,’okay’, again!

“this fucking job...” He shifted his stance, looking sideways for a beat and exhaling with an uncomfortable air. “what a fucking drag.” He didn’t say anything after that but wore a slightly pinched expression. Small drops of sweat started beading on his skull. Now it was Sans turn to look shifty and suspicious. 

You stayed where you were even though Sans didn’t do anything else, unsure if you were done with each other or not. But Sans was acting odd and you were unsure if you were allowed to leave. It felt like he was building up to something. 

“hey.” He broke the strange silence. “tell me a joke.” He said that, but his body was tense. He looked more ready for a fight than a laugh. 

Your brain flatlined. You couldn’t think of one on the spot in the best of times and now you were under pressure. 

“I don’t know any jokes.” 

“everybody knows jokes. just give me a lame one. even a worthless shit like ya know ‘em.” He straightened his back and put his hands deeper into his pockets, looking cosy in the cold.

Wracking your brain for a lame joke and ignoring his insult, you finally got it. 

“Uh, why did the little berry cry?”

Sans turned to face you fully. “why?”

“Because her mama was in a jam.” 

Sans laughed loud and clear. That loud, booming, wet sounding laugh that made you back away a small step. He bent over slapping his knee. You watched him with an open mouth. You really weren’t that funny. 

“oh, wait.” he managed to calm down to little chuckles. “i’ve got one.” Sans straightened up, eyes bright. “little sally kept on coming home with a pocket full of gold.”

Suddenly you had a bad feeling about this joke. Your pocket with your remaining coins felt heavy.

“then one day, her hot mama asked her, ‘little sally, where do ya get all this gold?’ little sally said that the little boys paid her to climb trees. ‘oh, baby’, said hot little mama. ‘ya know that them boys just want to look at yer panties!’” 

The bad feeling regarding this joke intensified. 

“little sally laughed and said, ‘i know that mama, i’m not dumb! that’s why I always take ‘em off first!’” He dangled your sad panties delicately with sharp looking fingertips.

Oh.

My.

God!!!

Your whole face erupted like a fuckin vulcano at doomsday. Those stupid things! How you had stupidly and impulsively washed them at the bone brothers place and left them there! And now Sans was here, and he was holding them, and and… Oh, my gosh! Why weren’t they in the bag Papyrus gave you? Did Sans take them after your shower?! 

Sans looked cool and collected during your meltdown. Almost serene while you were turning into a human flavoured puddle of humiliation. 

“what's the matter, buddy? cat got your tongue?” His voice changed midway, from calm to harsh in a second. You had an epifani regarding Sans observation skills. It was highly unwelcomed. 

He knew about Felix!

“ya really are stupid, aren’t ya? did ya think i wouldn’t notice ya walking into an alley with fucking burgerpants of all people, and then come out with gold?” 

You had another, different from the other, epifani. You didn’t like it. Also, Burgerpants? Was that what BP stood for?

“It’s not what it looks like!”

Sans didn’t like that answer. He strode over to you, stopping just a breath away. “save it! heads up, dolly! prostitution is fucking toeing the line of the contract.” 

He balled up your underwear in his fist and threw them at your face, making you scrunch it up from surprise. “keep ‘em on, buddy. or we’re going to have a fucking problem, capiche?” He practically growled it out. The panties landed in the snow. A sad testament to how low you had sunk in this world. 

“I was just taking them off to wash them!” You defended yourself. “I hanged them up to dry and then… Stuff happened and I forgot!” Balancing your newly bought things, you managed to kneel down in the snow and get your beloved panties back. Stuffing them into the pot and wobbily standing up again, you didn’t care about hiding them. What you cared about was getting home in one piece. 

“sure, buddy. too bad you didn’t take them back. guessing ya thought ya didn’t need them.” He gestured angrily to where they lay in the pot. 

“I’m not a prostitute!” 

If felt like your body was on fire, you felt ashamed but also angry about this whole situation. “I just… Uh, I just do favours around town!” You almost blabbed about the drugs again, too distracted to notice how Sans face twisted. Shit, what was worse? Getting killed for one crime or the other? Wait, why isn’t Sans going after Felix for buying sex from destitute humans? Or is it more okay to buy than to sell? Or was it- Wait! 

… Is Felix already dead?! 

“ya dumb bitch! yer out fer one day and this is how ya repay me? repay paps?” Sans nearly let spittle fleck your face. “do ya have any… any idea how this looks?”

Okay, you were starting to feel scared now. “I swear, I’m not doing that kinda stuff! I’m sorry, I’m really not!”

“right, and that’s why i get a call from my little bro about ya running around town. ya even admitted it to him!” 

“This is just a misunderstanding! I saw him, yes, but it wasn’t like that! I just told him what I told you. That I was doing favours…!” 

“favours, whatever ya call them, they gotta stop. i’m being lenient here, human. seeing as yer at the fucking bottom of the food chain. i get it. ya look exotic, it’s easy money… if it was just me, i wouldn't give two shits about it. but my brother, papyrus, he’s a rule loving fanatic.”

The grip on the pot tightened, your knuckles turned white and bloodless. The cold wasn’t the only reason you were shaking. You knew that meeting was gonna bite you in the ass. You knew that, you just didn’t think it would be in this way. 

“so here’s what yer gonna do.” Sans stepped closer. “yer gonna go about yer lawful business, stay away from alleys and alleycats…” He stopped in front of you. “and me and my bro aren’t gonna have to take care of any extra paperwork because we had to execute yer sorry ass, got it?” 

You looked up at this giant skeleton. This massive prick. This bully. You gritted your teeth, trying to rein in errant thoughts, explanations or anything else that might incriminate you further or make him mad. In the end you nodded, tight lipped and determined to be more careful. 

“good girl.” Sans patted your cheek condescendingly and left you with your overstuffed pot in the woods. 

Your heart filled with resentment. 

  
  


-

-

-

The paranoia lessened the next day when nobody busted down your door and dragged you away in chains, but the anger didn’t. So far, everything was unfair. Any feeling of control kept slipping from your fingers like sand in the desert during a storm. It wasn’t hopeless, but how were you supposed to be happy down here? You had never felt more alone.

Filling the pot with snow in front of your shack that early morning, you built a fire. After many trials and errors, you managed it with flint. A makeshift stand for your pot was next on the agenda, made from sturdy branches and rope from the shack. Getting the snow to melt and finally boil took forever. You watched it periodically while doing other chores in your small home. 

First on the list was cleaning it out of the spider webs and that weird pile of dust by the window. You were unsure how to go about it since you didn’t have a broom. In the end you took one of your bigger rags. Placing it flat on the floor by the pile of dust, you shoved it unto the fabric. Then you pulled the corners very carefully and carried it out. Walking into the woods you dumped it in the snow far from the shack. It made the snow gray. Mixing it up made it worse by making everything look dirty. You don’t know why you stood there so long or why you felt so sad looking at it. 

Great, now you’re even more bummed out! The impulse to cheer yourself up came like a flash. Who were you to deny it? Just shy of a smile, you took some of the gray slush and looked at another spot of pure white. It was perfect! 

Kneeling down you wrote, “Human territory!”, with the gray snow, then added a heart and a smiley. Looking it over, it was definitely missing something. After a moment of thought you gave the smiley a pair of angry eyebrows. 

There! It was perfect.

You backed off to look over your creation. Such class! Such spendor! And the smiley really did cheer you up. Maybe it could cheer up somebody else having a bad day, too! 

Even if Sans said you were a prostitute, who cares? It was the oldest profession of humanity! So what if you only had one pair of panties that Sans and probably his brother had both seen? This place was your home now, you were still alive and it could only get better! 

Right? 

Something snapped. The sound of a thick dry branch breaking made you almost snap your own neck with the speed you came to attention. There beyond the trees stood a monster with a very stylish hat. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from it. The hat was very distracting, but the way the monster regarded you and the dusty snow around you gave you enough of a clue that something was wrong. Traces of the gray snow on your hands and your little message in the snow made the monster angry. You didn’t know why it made it angry, but a sharp pain in your heart made you swallow involuntarily to mask a whining sound almost escaping your throat. 

You felt like a child caught doing a no-no. 

The monster started vibrating and swaying. You knew what this meant. Sure enough a bullet attack sprung forth heading straight for you. As usual the little white bullets bounced harmlessly on your barrier that shimmered faintly when struck. Another barrage of attacks came forth with the same result. 

This always felt awkward for you. You were never hurt, so being angry felt off, at the same time it was such a bother. “Hey!” You called. “Stop attacking!” You did the first thing your impulsive brain told you to. You started attacking. 

You were a hypocrite. 

You started packing snow into little tight balls. The monster, you think it was called an Ice Cap, seemed to panic. Once the perfect snowball with specks of gray was formed, you aimed and let loose your snowy fury on the poor bastard. Little did he know you always annihilated everyone during snowball fights.

“AAARGH! My hat!” The monster cried, frantically bouncing in place trying to displace the snow from its splendid headpiece. 

“Get bent!” You screamed while throwing another. “I’ll wreck you!” You shrieked. 

The monster moved erratically back and forth. You managed to nail the hat, spot on, with a loud smacking sound. It fell pathetically down to the dirty ground, more crooked than the modern justice system, and utterly wrecked. The monster wailed as it fell. You had a moment of guilt when it looked as if it was about to cry about it, but you steeled yourself. 

“I’m not in the mood!” You yelled. Packing more snow and forming it into a ball you raised it threateningly in the air, “Get out of here!”

The monster got its hat from the ground and ran away from you. It should have felt like a victory... But honestly? 

“Why am I crying?” You dropped the ball. “What is happening? Holy shit, holy shit!” Angrily you wiped your face with a dirty palm. What were you doing? This isn’t you!

The smiley on the ground looked mocking all of a sudden. The message you wrote was trash and you were trash. Everything was just pure trash! 

“Get a grip!” You told yourself angrily. “Get a fucking grip!” There was nobody there but you. Great, you were talking to yourself in the woods like a crazy person. 

Turning back to the shack, while resolutely ignoring the burning in your eyes, you saw the snow in the pot had melted and was boiling. Good, at least something was going right today. You took it off the fire. 

Another rag was found and dipped in the still hot water. You wrung it out quickly but regretted all your life decisions when you realized that, holy shit, boiling water was hot! A small hand-dunking in the snow later with a comical  chant  of, “This isn’t painful! Everything’s fine”, and the wet rag was cool enough for use. Carefully you cleaned your face of any trace of tears, then cleaned your hands and arms. It was pleasantly warm now but the water on your skin grew cold in seconds, making the small hairs on your body stand up. 

Taking another big breath and refusing to even think about crying, you managed to wipe down all surfaces in your new home. It was still small and dark, but it was cleaner now. The door hinge was still broken but that was a problem for another day. At least you could close it. And one of the blankets you bought could block the cold seeping from it. You really were gonna be fine. 

Just fine!

-

-

-

Unbeknownst to you, a very freaked out monster with a crumbled hat was making a ruckus in Snowdin. 

“She wanted my hat!” Cried the Ice Cap to a disinterested bear monster standing by a burnt down christmas tree. “Uh-huh.” The bear said while rolling his red eyes. 

“She’d just killed someone! Probably to steal something from them, and I just know I was gonna be next!”

“Uh-huh.” 

A little group of monster kids who had been kicking down trashcans next to a store stopped their ruckus. “What was that?” Monster Kid trotted over with his friends. 

“Yeah, did that dirty human kill somebody?” Asked a small drake standing behind Monster Kid. 

“Hell yeah, that dirtbag killed somebody!” The freaked out Ice Cap screamed, thrilled to have an audience that listened.

“Yeah, right.” Interrupted the bear. “I’ve seen them around town. That thing can’t kill anything. Have you seen how tiny they are? Bitch is more likely to get stepped on than to manage murder.”

“I’m not a liar!” The Ice Cap defended vehemently. “They were rolling around in the dust, celebrating their kill! Writing threatening messages!!!” He screeched, indignant that a human was bold enough to claim such a large territory in the forest.

The children present gasped. “Really?! That’s so cool!” Said Monster Kid. 

“Cool? Cool?! That human is a fucking psyko and anyone of us could be next! Just… Just look at it” The freaked out one screamed. “Look at what they did to my hat!” The hat looked sad and mortally wounded. There would be no recovery from this. All present looked at the hat. Ice Cap revelled in the attention.

“Nobody cares about your hat!” 

“Yeah, what Mr. Bear said!” Echoed one of the kids. “Tell us more about the sick things this human is doing…” Their eyes sparkled excitedly. 

“Don’t encourage him, brats!”

“Shut up! Anyway, as I was saying about my hat… The human attacked me and I knew it was either them… Or me.” Ice Cap dramatically placed the crumbled hat back on his head, making sure to drag the movement out, side-eying the others to see if they were still looking. 

“Okay, fine.” Said the bear. “What kind of message did they write with the dust?”

And on that day a very nasty rumour spread about your morality and your various crimes that could be likened to breaking everything about the Geneva convention. 

An infamous star was born in the Underground. The consequence of this couldn’t wait to be reaped in the future.

  
  
  


* * *

Papyrus, after suspecting the human is secretly a prostitute, panicking over his human health book: Sans! Did You Know The Human Can Get Something Called STD From Sexual Contact?

Sans, regretting walking into the livingroom: please stop showing me pictures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rumours are a nasty things, aren’t they? ;)   
Sorry about any spelling stuff. This is "hot of the press" or something. And yeah, reader doesn't know what dust is. She hasn't been there long enough
> 
> Welp, I had to cut the chapter (sorry Felix!) cause it was getting too long. Sorry bout that! Next up: Buckets Of Gold and Deja Vu, ’Nothing escalates and everything gets better’


	5. Buckets Of Gold and Deja Vu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s time to get rid of that drug money! Everything is going amazing and reality is not falling apart! Felix is an adorable kitty, Papyrus is trying to uphold his image and Sans is… Sans!

**Buckets Of Gold and Deja Vu**

**“Nothing escalates and everything gets better”**

* * *

The last few days had been a little off. Straight up concerning, you admit that now. You couldn’t while it was happening but now you had some time to reflect which led you to believe that you were in deep shit. The accusing contract laying on the cold floor by your cosy blankets taunted you with its legal jargon and threats of death if you were found guilty of any crime. You were unsure how many felonies you had committed but you hoped you just broke some of the laws and not all of them. 

The good news, amongst all shitty news, was that your panties were safely back on your butt. Regardless of the horrible conversation that led to them basically being thrown at your innocent face, they made you feel much better. Before you got them back it was just your delicate bits and the unforgiving horror of pants chafing them. 

For a short while in your life, after some brief but intense brain gymnastics, you had unconsciously decided that your pants were now your underwear. Your please-don’t-wear-me-for-too-long undies. Also known as; Your slightly longer than usual panties. They’re not as good as forever panties, you weren’t getting married, but they still deserved respect and recognition. 

Enough about your unmentionables! There’s bigger issues to be dealt with.

The day after getting yelled at (for no reason by Sans the butt face) started with quietly visiting the graveyard and keeping a vigilant look-out while your pants were down. It was, quite frankly, the most vulnerable you ever felt. Anyone seeing you, ass bare and squatting in the snow, better hope they die of natural causes!

When you were done, you checked the perimeter. More like, you checked out Snowdin, the woods and the paths you could find. 

The border between Snowding and Waterfall wasn’t a fixed point like you’d hoped. It was a stretched out piece of land that was mushy, cold and wet. Looking frumpy but determined, you found what you hoped was the main path between the two areas. 

It was muddy, trampled and slightly wider part of a path looking well-used by travellers. You decided not to get too close, just in case of a boney surprise. You stayed away from any monsters by weaving between the trees. Any time a monster caught sight of you between the trunks they glared in suspicion. It was after an especially scratching glare that you realized you probably looked like a massive creep hiding in the woods. The only thing missing to make you an even bigger creep was the playground filled with innocent children for you to sneak peeks at from the trees while sporting a giant unkempt mustache, woven from your own nose hair. Hey, a woman must make due where nature has failed her, and sadly for most women, being able to grow a full and healthy looking mustache by usual means was improbable if not a bit patchy. 

You bit the annoying cut on your lip, tracing it with your tongue. Maybe this whole thing was a mistake and you should have stuck to the main road to look more natural? Your bruised body sure seemed to agree. Walking around in the cold left you stiff, achy and aggravated your old injuries. The main road might be better to avoid looking weird if caught. Decision made, you headed back to your, “home base”, for a lack of a better word.

Night came fast but not unexpected. One thing you’d learnt down here was that night and day were always punctual. After the first week in the underground you already had a slight sense when the switch would occur. It would dim until all light died in about an hour and a half. When it was dark, it was pitch black. The only light you could see was from the fire you made right outside your shack. You lit it every night for comfort and warmth. The limited light only made you grip your newly bought mug, decorated with blue and red flowers and filled with nothing but hot water, even tighter. You couldn't even see the trees anymore.

Dumping the remaining water in the snow, alongside your depressive episode of the day, you decided to get back in the shack and crawl under your blankets. Your belly ached, your joints were stiff and the cold seeped in from the cracks of the old shed. The blankets barely kept your body warmth inside your tight cocoon. That night was spent tossing and turning. Whenever you managed to fall asleep you jerked awake with your heart nearly beating itself out of your chest because it felt like you were falling into a dark abyss of nothing. As soon as you awoke the feeling stopped, but your heart was still racing. 

Before you knew it the day of your drug-deal related countdown greeted you bright and early. As soon as you were conscious you remembered what you had to do with a startling clarity, almost like your mind snapped into place like a tightly strung rubber band that never got to rest. 

Felix told you to meet him by the border of Waterfall without telling you what time. Nerve wracking! That plus the bed hair and your dry eyes, probably from your restless sleep, didn’t make you feel confident about today. 

A nervous morning stretch routine, to loosen your stiff joints, later and you were ready to dig out the gold from its hiding place. Carefully counting out the coins you made it out to be 2000, just like Felix said. Even though you knew it was 2000 when you first got it, you still obsessively counted it three more times just in case. It was all there, as expected. In your hands, with your chipped nails and tired cuticles, the gold looked even more beautiful. The coins got warm fast in your grubby hands and even more seductive. God, you wished you had more of it. Not that you would turn to a life of crime or anything (though you sort of already had)! They clinked when you slipped them in your pocket (hubba hubba).

Walking outside into your “yard”, if it was even worthy of that name, a gut feeling told you that something disgustingly horrifying was going on about five minutes from your home. 

Standing very still, trying to stay undetected, you stared out in the direction of your graveyard. There it was, a bit of sunshine in the snowy bleakness, a patch of yellow stood out amongst all that white. None other than the good doctor Alphys, if you were not mistaken. She was bent over in the snow by a tree, collecting something and adding it into a zip bag already half-way filled with-

… No. Please, pretty please, no!

Alphys stood up, still holding the steel tong that glinted proudly in the light. It was slightly less proudly holding onto a stool sample. From your graveyard! That you used to… You know! The doctor was standing by one of your poorly constructed crosses constructed to avoid ever digging up your shame for any other reason than blindness, ignorance or, in Alphys case at least, scientific curiosity. The only thing that could make this worse would be if she went looking for yellow snow, shaped them like popsicles and tried selling them to you. 

You watched her numbly, as she made her way from cross to cross, collecting samples and marking them on a map. Why did she have a map of your graveyard? What was going on? 

Thankfully, the doctor didn’t stay long. After getting what she came for, Alphys left quickly while rubbing her arms briskly. Guess she didn’t like the cold. Too fucking bad, Alphys! Because you hoped she was uncomfortable! More uncomfortable than you were right now, so much so that the good doctor would decide to never come back again! You were too scared to go to the graveyard to relieve your bladder now. Forgoing that morning routine you headed out instead.

  
  


You didn’t see anyone in the woods, nobody popped up unexpectedly nor did you hear the barking of drug dogs hot on your trail. It made your belly ache. Murphy’s law was a lesson you remembered from your younger days and this was a situation that just screamed of that cursed law about to happen. 

There was nothing wrong with your imagination. Thankfully, before your inner imaginings of your horrid demise following your discovery of “carrying” could spiral out of control, the small town of Snowdin came into view. Hunching your shoulders, keeping a cool head and a low profile was the plan here. You got right on that, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. Sneakily walking down the rough street and passing all the shops you started sweating. This was a bit too nerwracking for you! 

Trying to avoid eye-contact with anyone was surprisingly easy. It was almost as if they were trying to avoid looking at you when you glanced their way to make sure they weren’t looking. This, of course, raised the suspicion that they were most definitely watching you when they thought you weren’t looking! Eh, almost everyone. That one bear monster looked like he couldn't give less of a shit. Well, jokes on them! Cause you didn’t care if they looked! You were just walking! Doing what humans do best- Minding their own business and staying a polite distance away from anyone; The very thing humanity was best known for! 

The monsters all kept a distance though. Whenever they glanced over at you (pretending not to) they moved out of our way if it looked as if you might pass them. Most of the monsters in the village seemed to keep away from you. It was very strange. Otherwise they wouldn’t even notice you were there! Maybe it was just your paranoia?

Your anxiety levels rose significantly at that horrifying thought. This was a bit too overwhelming for a woman on the loose in a strange world full of monsters and magic. Those negative thoughts could go suck it until you managed to get to Felix! Paranoia had a time and place but you were very busy right now, so it should spring back up during your free time where you could cry in the cosy privacy of your shack of horror. 

You were almost out of Snowdin, then it was just a bit of a walk to where you thought the meeting was taking place. You were nervous and needed to take a piss but that could wait. You didn’t feel safe enough for that, the memory of Alphys in your graveyard was too fresh. Gotta suck it up! You took another step forward resolutely to get this over with and- 

The world blipped out of existence like an insignificant ant under a magnifying glass. One moment there, just a step away from the sugarcube left by some benign being with nothing better to do than watch you try to live your best life. The next moment, the ant was gone, the sugarcube was gone, and the benign being was already bored but quickly got over the ant's disappearance by finding a new hobby. Surely something more exciting than watching bugs eat sugar. 

The world wobbled in its non-existent state, knowing something was not quite right. There were pieces missing, erased from it’s base code; It reset to its standard being with a snap. 

Still an insignificant ant staring in terror at its bleak existence and fragility, but very much still there. Your mind and all its previously non-questionable precedence in your body and soul all returned to your previous state of being, as if it had never left. You were, in spite of everything, not even frazzled from being erased from your known universe. How could you know you were something worse than dead when your mind could not even accept that you were most likely going to die in a cave underground, never again having the pleasure of feeling toilet paper on your delicate behind for your own hygienic gain? A mind that could not even tolerate the thought of that was better off not contemplating nonexistence. 

You took another step forward resolutely to get this over-

Everything fell away into nothing.

You took another step forward resolutely to-

Reality was a hiccup. There never was a sugarcube. The universe made you believe there was a reward for your troubles when there was nothing. 

You took another step forward resolutely-

… Reality is a joke in the face of the fragility of existence. 

You took another step-

There is nothing in the void, not a thought, not a whimper to be heard. 

You… Took another-

… The universe feels like it’s fracturing. Tiny spider webs in it’s fragile glass dome, growing larger and larger. 

You tripped another step forward-

A ripple of time formed and divided itself into a different branch. In one reality you tripped, broke your neck and pissed yourself after your death, in another your foot fell on the ground and you remained safe from any harm.

You stared down at your foot that just touched the ground. 

…. How strange. It felt like you were expecting something? Suddenly you felt sick and nearly fell over. “What the heck.” It came out monotone. Like your soul was already tired from a vigorous exercise quickly ruined by pigging out on an all you can eat chinese buffet, ruining all your hard work and washing it all down with diet soda. 

You really tried to act like a normal human being, but the weirdest feeling arouse. 

The world seemed to glitch, it wasn’t there, then it came back. 

Looking back the way you came you saw the town, the path you were walking and the monsters going about their business behind you. Nothing was wrong but it felt like something was. You gripped your head with a shaking hand, trying to get the strange buzzing feeling to go away so you could regain your balance. Nothing was wrong. Everything was fine! Straightening again you continued forward, feeling like you needed to leave now. Like that was a bad place to be, like you were going to die if you stayed there. 

The monsters, who had pretended to ignore you, were staring at your back openly now. Okay, you were walking weird. That was why they were looking at you. Oh no, you forgot how to walk! You’re overthinking this. Just one foot after the other and… Oh no, were they still watching you? 

The monsters witnessed you helplessly stumbling around like a drunk. “See? I told you!” Whispered the Ice Cap with the ugly (traumatized) hat. “They’re still riding on that high from the kill!”

“Nah, nah naaah!” Said another. “That’s how it always walks.”

“Achoopffft!!” A dog monster sneezed.

“SEE?!” An unfortunate monster, with a severe underbite, hissed. “He only sneezes from… DUST!” 

“Oh, my stars! It’s all true!” An appalled lady monster clutched her cheap pearls. 

“You don’t think..?” Another dog with shifty eyes ventured questionably. He had already stress-smoked three dog treats because of this. 

The group stilled and threw another furtive glance your way. You continued to act normal- A sentence without any sort of sarcasm whatsoever. 

“Nah… Nah! I can’t believe it! The captain would have taken care of it if it was true.” Said an only slightly drunk bunny.

They murmured amongst each other while you managed to stumble on nothing, look around you frantically to see if anybody saw and then continue your weird walk on the main road. 

“Unless…” One of them started. The others gave their full attention. When nothing else was forthcoming they grew annoyed. 

“Spit it out!”

“Unless…” The monster started again at the prompting. “Well, I heard…”

“... Yes?” One of them said impatiently. 

“... That they can’t be killed by a monster…” 

“What? Don’t be daft!”

“No, I heard that, too!”

“Right? Something about them not having a soul…?”

“Pft, hogwash! That’s not what I heard!” Said the lady monster with the clutch worthy pearls.

“Oh, yeah? And what did you hear?” The other said annoyed at being rebuffed by someone with such old fashioned, yet stylish accessories. 

“Well, I heard that they were a…” She leaned closer dramatically. “... Streetwalker.”

“No!”

“It’s true!” She looked offended at the doubt of her good word. 

“Does it even have a permit?” The shifty dog took a longer drag of his smoke, looking worriedly at the trees for traces of angry bones moving closer, summoned by unlawful business and gossip. 

“Humans can’t do that? Right, guys? Humans don’t… You know?” Ice Cap looked flustered. 

“Oh, they can! In fact, I heard that she has a regular.” Why the lady looked smug about this, the others didn’t know. 

“What? Who?”

“Oh, you know… A little monster you might know with the name of… Burgerpants.” She nearly chirped in delight.

“Nah, nah nah!” The bunny monster resolutely shook his head. “If you think a fleshbag like that is fuckable, you should think of what’s best for monsterkind, go home, shamefully masterbate into a sad tissue and then kill yourself. At the end of the day, you take that attraction and shove it down there so deep, you could dust tomorrow and nobody would be the wiser!” He spat at the ground after his angry tirade. This particular monster was also terribly sexually repressed, terrified of his newly bloomed human fetish. 

“So you think it’s just a rumour?” There was a note of disappointment in that sentence. 

“Yeah, yeah yeah, I fucking think that’s a rumour! Do you really think that the captain would let a human have a permit for that? Let alone that it would be able to snag any clients?” The bunny looked outright disgusted by the notion but hidden in his beady red little eyes was a sliver of disappointment. 

“Well… I mean…” Said the unfortunate looking monster with the underbite. 

“Shut up, you freak! You’d fuck a non-sentient rock if it was sensual enough!” Even the cute bunny ears bristled in revulsion. It’s important to note, that this bunny monster tried to fuck a rock himself. It was in his youth, when he was full of hormones and moonshine. In his defense the rock looked like it was giving him bedroom eyes in the shine of the glowing mushrooms. To this day he still has dreams about it. Whether those were wet dreams or nightmares is up for interpretation. 

The discussion amongst the misfit monsters, some more in the misfit category than others, continued. But you didn’t know that. You were blissfully ignorant and had finally re-mastered the ability to walk despite the weird vertigo that you couldn’t explain. Nearing the designated meeting place ( or so you hoped ) and keeping a hand in the pocket with the money, the good old nerves were acting up as usual. 

When you got there it was still light out, but sooner than you wished the dimming started. You reached the spot you scouted out yesterday with great success, still alive and everything! Money still in the pocket, leaning against a tree trying to look relaxed while knowing the hard part was just about to start. 

Felix looked like an adorable orange tabby cat with little beans attached to his furry fingers, but what if he was a real sleazeball? Let’s be real here, he sells drugs for money! Well, you did too, but that was different! Better play it safe just in case he decided to stab you in your favourite kidney then bolt with the cash. Not that you thought an adorable kitty cat would ever- Oh, who are you kidding, a cat totally would if it was motivated enough. Oh, and look! There he was! With his hunched walk and miserable looking cat tail swishing irritatedly behind him. Felix was trudging through the mud and sludge like a commoner and hating every second of it. You just hoped you looked cool and relaxed when you leaned on the tree. Cool enough to seem unconcerned and not too stabbable.

Felix didn’t look around to see if there were any witnesses, didn’t even greet you with a halfhearted “hey”. He just stopped a small distance from you and nodded. You nodded back, thinking you’d nailed this greeting your drug buddy thing, instead of realizing one of your greatest fears, which consisted of looking like a failure with no control over their pitiful life in front of somebody who sold drugs. Your neck hurt when you tried to look up at him. The angle was weird but you didn’t want to look like you weren’t acknowledging him. Damn those huge monsters being taller than you! Genetics have failed humanity. 

The cig jiggled comically from his cute cat mouth when he finally asked you, “Got it?” 

“Yeah.” You wasted no time. Gathering the gold you showed it to him, motioning for him to take it from you. He didn’t. Instead he stared at you for an uncomfortable amount of time. Enough time went by for you to feel like you were doing something wrong or breaking some unknown monster etiquette. Finally he let his slitted eyes glance around the two of you before stepping forward and swiping the money from your hands. You let your hands drop to your sides. Fidgeting in place you watched as he counted the gold coins in silence. 

Finally his shoulders seemed to relax and Felix gave you a half smirk when he put it away. “Got it in one, buddy. You’re not a total failure at life, unlike some people I know.” 

“Uh, thanks?”

Felix nodded and reached to his back pocket to get a pad and pen. Crossing something over on a list he flipped a page and hummed. “Kay’, bud. Next stop is that grumpy asshole, Snowman. Gonna leave a little something for you to fish out for him tomorrow at noon.” He closed the small pad and put it back in his pocket. He prepared to leave and your dumb brain was almost too slow on the uptake. 

“Wait, what? What stop? I’m not doing any stops!” Your heart started beating faster. 

Felix stopped to look back at you irritatedly. “Not my orders. This is from the boss, not me.” He shrugged, not looking like he cared one way or the other. 

“No…! No, that’s not, I mean I’m not doing this anymore!” 

“Yeah, you are.” His right ear flicked, “You either want to live or you don’t.” The implication was pretty clear. 

“Listen…” You had to at least try, instead of just rolling over and taking it. “The only thing keeping me alive right now is some flimsy pieces of paper signed by that tall skeleton dude.” You watched Felix flick his cigarette, unbothered by your threat of premature death by skeleton. “Uh, and there are some… Okay, not to be lame, but there are some rules in there that I need to follow to stay alive, you know?” 

His ear flickered again. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah! Like, oh, I don’t know…” You swallowed nervously. “Not selling drugs and committing crimes.” You left out the part about committing said crimes in skivvy places like the woods making it seem even worse. You’d been clear enough.

“Is that right, little buddy?” He put out his cigarette and threw it down on the ground, slowly grinding the sole of his foot down on it while looking at you with his precious cat gems for eyes. He didn't have any shoes on, but that didn’t seem to bother him. He would have looked threatening if he wasn’t an adorable kitty cat. 

“Uh.” You said, like many other times in your life where your head was too full yet empty to produce any sort of meaningful words to help you out of uncomfortable situations. 

Felix straightened out his clothes, gave you a smile, then, quicker than you could process he had your back pressed into the hard bark of the tree behind you. Your feet slid uselessly on the ground, not that you had time to think to use them to escape while his forearm pressed threateningly over your windpipe.

He bent down to your level, his face close to yours, close enough to make you wonder if his whiskers would touch your cheeks. It was only now that you remembered how much bigger he was than you. How all the monsters were bigger than you and what that meant for your safety. His furry arm felt humungus when you realized it touched your chin, some furry bits dragging over your lips in a quick movement, though it still covered a great deal of your chest. His eyes looked even more tired this close. It made it hard to miss the red lines under his eyes.

“Buddy” Felix rumbled too close to your face. “I hate to get physical, but the boss gave me very specific orders. I’m gonna follow those orders, alright you weirdo?” He said, just as calmly as before. It was like he was a barista telling you in a dead tone that there was only decaf available today. A voice that couldn’t give less of a shit, and would like to go home to sleep instead of catering to assholes. In this instance, perhaps the asshole was his boss but you were the decaf problem.

You, of course, didn’t let him continue when you saw his mouth opening for another tidbit of information that could be good to have in your current situation. Instead of the traditional, “uh”, your brain usually supplied you with, something else came to mind in this, maybe, life threatening situation. 

“Your fur is really soft!”

Felix blinked, taken aback. He lessened his hold on you. 

“I like your eyes!” You continued.

“What?” His tail swished behind him.

Having Felix furry form so close made you more than a little nervous. “You’re...Uh. You’re not gonna kiss me are you…?” 

That seemed to wake him up from his daze. The kitty looked offended. “No!” He shouted in your face and tightened his grip. 

You flushed in mortification. “I know! I’m sorry! I just panicked and I don’t like violence or when people are too close! Please don’t slap me!” Words came out like vomit, but they didn’t really help at all. 

“Shut up, just shut the fuck up already! Fuck, it’s like listening to those brainless heroines that shiny piece of shit writes.” His free hand grabbed your hair and tilted your head back. “Listen up, human. The only thing you need to remember is that we don’t like problems. You already accepted the deal, backing out now would be a problem. Remember, we don’t like that… She’s already put you in the ledger and it would be a bother to erase your name” He grinned. “But I would, to keep my job.” He paused to gauge your expression. You looked suitably terrified. “So don’t go causing trouble. Got it?” Felix gave a patented customer smile. 

“Got it.” You said hurriedly. 

“That’s great, buddy.” Felix backed off, all signs of hostility gone. In his place stood a tired worker who lazily flicked his tail and lit up another cigarette. “No hard feelings, buddy. Just the business.” The flame lit up his face briefly, reminding you the light of the underground had started to dim while highlighting his tired eyes with a warm glimmer. 

Quietly standing by the tree, you watched him smoke. The jittery feeling in your body was barely contained within your mortal vessel, or for a less dramatic turn of phrase, you were almost losing your shit but still keeping it together. 

Should you tell him about Sans and Papyrus thinking you were a prostitute? 

Watching Felix take another drag of his cigarette you remembered what he said about problems. Would he really…. Would Felix really kill you if you caused trouble? Because what the bone brothers thought of you and the sort of attention it could bring you from other monsters seemed like a problem to you. Especially because Felix liked that people didn’t notice you in Snowdin. 

They would notice you if the rumours continued to spread. 

Saying goodbye to Felix was less dramatic than your meeting. He finished his cigarette and reminded you about what you had to do and then left the way he came. Not looking back, he gave a lackluster wave in your general direction. “Remember to sign the contract!” Felix shouted his last order, facing away from you and mentally already gone from work and looking forward to prime sofa time.

“What contract?!” You shouted back at him. He ignored you and left you wondering. Staring in the general direction he disappeared into you clenched and unclenched your hands nervously. There was a heavy and cold pressure inside your chest, right over your heart. Some would call it a sign of anxiety. You called it your, “let’s not think about that”, feeling. You pushed it down, way deep down into that small space inside of you where you crammed all thoughts and feelings you couldn’t or wouldn’t deal with. They were left to fester until you died from a heartattack at sixtyfive. That was your plan and regardless of what anyone else might think, it’s amazing!

Walking back the way you came, it was hard to keep track of where you were heading, mind already full of what-ifs and half-assed plans on where to hide when shit hit the fan. You came up with absolutely nothing during your walk. 

You stopped by the river on the way home, just looking out over the water, hoping to string together some sort of plan or spot a hidden opportunity. But all you got was the sound of water and the urge to pee like a champion. It wasn’t the kind of inspiration you wanted, but now you had a more immediate problem to take care of. 

Peeing near some random tree in the woods didn’t feel safe in this area and your graveyard back home was compromised. Plus it was getting harder to see between the trees now since it was so dim, nearing the time when the underground would go completely dark. 

A short walk later you found yourself near one of the bone brother’s posts. It was empty, no signs of either of those headaches anywhere, which was the only reason you even dared to take a peek inside. There was a single packet of some sort or condiment and a stool strikingly similar to the one Papyrus usually sat on back when you were in their custody. But none of that was important. What was important was the trashcan in the corner. More like, the bucket in the corner, with just a few crumpled up papers inside it. 

You bit your lip. 

Your bladder kickstarted your poor decision skills, with a bit of help from your sudden fear of peeing in the forest. You crawled into the station after checking both left and right to be sure you were alone. 

All clear!

You landed soundlessly, like a graceful gazelle. Or, uh, a graceful gazelle who had been shot by poachers and was limping because you sort of crumbled as soon as you hauled your ass over the counter and lept. To think, you only forgot monsters were giants for a hot second and instantly you paid the prize! The counter was much higher to jump down from into the station than it seemed outside because of the snow. You didn’t know! Though arguably you should have noticed when you looked inside in the beginning. It was only when you’d already hit the floor and regretted it that you saw the subtle door on the side of the station. Great! Thank you brain. 

Sucking air through your teeth you decided to ignore the slight pain and focus on your self-appointed mission. 

Alright, just need to tip over the bucket to empty it… You did so without a thought above how much you needed to pee. After steadying the bucket you did a final check outside the station by standing on your toes by the counter. It was still clear. The walls in the station made you feel nice and hidden enough for you to pull down your pants and squat over the bucket that was a bit bigger than you expected. It was uncomfortable and the cold rim kept touching your butt when you tried to balance over it. You sat still, staring out of the opening of the station, willing yourself to pee. 

It didn’t happen. 

A cold wind made itself inside the station and chilled your inner thighs. Goosebumps appeared on your legs and made you shiver. Giving it another minute, nothing happened. It was like your bladder decided that buckets and safe spaces weren't good enough for it. It wanted back out into the wild, back to the woods where it could empty itself with a sense of freedom simply not found in a station owned by skeletons set on imprisoning or killing humans innocently going about their lives. Or maybe you just didn’t need to pee? The sound of the river might have made you think you needed to but-

“- he was asking fer it, bro. what was i supposed to say?” A faint voice murmured in the distance. 

“Anything But That! You Need To Be Diplomatic And Plan Ahead, Not Say Whatever Your Stupid Hotheaded Pride Wants You To Say!” Answered another voice still a bit away but moving closer. 

You froze over the bucket, your legs locked in place, bum out for the world to see. 

“they’re spreading rumours about-”

“I Know What The Rumours Are! That’s Why It’s Important To Keep A Level Head And Possess Something Called Accountability!” Papyrus sounded exasperated.

You knees pressed tighter together in response, on instinct, to protect your delicate bits from the ire you heard.

“i know that! i’m just saying that those dumbasses should know that nobody’s missing, there hasn’t been a string of disappearances or murders-

“Yes, Sans! That’s Why You Don’t Get Defensive When Some Dithering Idiot With A Group Of Goons Question You!”

“he wasn’t questioning me, bro!” Sans voice stopped just outside the station. “he was questioning ya!” An angry smack on the wall to the left of you startled your bladder so bad it lost all resolve to keep it in. The sudden stream hit the bottom of the bucket with a sound that was even louder than your surprised gasp, making your heart stop for a second. Thankfully, Sans kept talking after hitting the wall with a loud voice, repeating the greatest insult he ever heard about his hardworking brother… This week at least. “he was questioning ya! this is yer jurisdiction and they kept fucking badgering me about the dirt!”

Oh my god, why can’t you stop peeing?! 

“i just wanted to go on my break, have a laugh and a drink. i didn’t even get time to sit down cause of those assholes! it wasn't my fault they came looking fer a fight!”

“Sure You Weren’t Looking For Trouble But- … Wait? Have A Drink?”

An uncomfortable stall in conversation occurred. One that was long enough to make you sweat and wonder how much boiled snow you’d been drinking that day, because this was never ending. 

“... it’s a four hour long shift, pap. it’s fine! i only had one, i’m not an idiot.”

“You’re Supposed To Be A Good Example To Monster Society!” Papyrus barked. “Letting Your Temper Get The Best Of You And Being Seen Drinking Before Your Shift Is Not-” Papyrus stopped berating Sans. This time the quiet was cold and calculating. 

“... Do You Hear That?”

You froze- Even the warm stream sputtered out into nothing but for a few fading splashes of sound. 

The brothers both stopped talking and listened. Your butt remained frozen on the lip of the bucket. 

After two minutes that felt more like twenty, you heard one of the brothers shift their footing in the snow. 

“... i don’t hear anything.” 

“I Thought It Was The Sound Of The River But It Didn’t Sound Right.” Papyrus made an annoyed sound. “Are You Sure You Didn’t Hear It?”

Sans white skull came into your vision through the opening of the station. Papyrus' tall form remained hidden behind the sheltering walls keeping you out of sight. The only reason you were able to see Sans was because his bones nearly shone in contrast to the dark shadowed trees. The back of Sans’ head was clear to see, while you, utterly vulnerable and thankfully already done pissing from fright, nearly froze your muff off while hoping he wouldn’t turn around and look inside. 

He kept swiveling his head, looking out over the woods and the narrow main road connecting Snowding to these more hidden parts in the outskirts of “moderns monster society”. 

Another minute passed. 

Finally, his head turned, making it so that you could see his profile when he spoke to Papyrus, “nothing, bro.” The red of his eyes highlighted his round cheekbones. An irrational part of you feared that the light of his red pupils would be enough to reveal you, as if it was a lamp and you were in the spotlight.

Papyrus came to stand next to Sans with crossed arms and a frown. You knew that he only needed to glance slightly to the right in order to see you clearly. 

“Do You Think It’s Her Again?” Papyrus asked in a low voice. 

Sans gave a thoughtful hum, “might be but i doubt it. already gave her an earful for earlier this morning.” 

Papyrus frown deepened into a full out scowl. “She Better Not Come Back Until She Has The Correct Paperwork! Trying To Perform Researd In Snowding Territory Without A Permit! HA!” He threw his head back dramatically with a scoff. Sans shrugged at his brother non-committedly. “eh, don’t care what that psyko does as long as she does it far away from me.” 

“Still Mad About That, Brother?” Papyrus asked with a teasing note. 

“no!” Sans was quick to defend. 

Papyrus laughed mockingly, “Sounds To Me Like You’re Still Mad!” He smirked with raised brows. 

“not mad, no! more like annoyed about having to fix the fucking door everytime she comes over!”

“That Was Undyne.” 

“yeah, but ya know she goes wherever her girlfriend goes.”

“Don’t Be Jealous Because She Has A Girlfriend, Sans.” 

“oh, that’s rich! downright a-door-able mr. casabona! 

Papyrus smirk fell like a drunk girl on the dancefloor. “I’m Going Home.” He deadpanned and started walking away from his beloved brother who, on any other day, he would have laid down his life for.

Sans chuckled. “okay, bro. alco-call ya later.”

“No You Won’t And I Never Want To See You Again!” Poor Papyrus shouted from the distance while Sans barely got anything out because of his laughter, “aaaaw, pappy-puppy! don’t give me the cold shoulder! that weird bunny said it was hoppy hour!”

“NO THEY DIDN’T!” Papyrus screamed brokenly from afar. “THEY HATE YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE THE WORST!!! AND NEVER CLEAN YOUR ROOM!!!” His voice faded away.

Papyrus fled for greener pastures. Preferably his home office where everything was orderly and the world made sense instead of Sans. Poor Papy had a slight existential crisis the second he realized he subconsciously made that joke in his head mere moments after fleeing his brother's terror. 

In the end there was only one skeleton left to worry about. Your bum was unfortunately still out and about during this worrisome conundrum. 

“dork.” Sans chuckled fondly. A breath later and his worn sneakers made the snow crunch under his weight as he walked away, probably back to the bar to make more trouble. 

You gave a sigh of relief after staying put over the bucket for over five minutes without any sign of him. 

Finally able to get up, you stood with creaking knees and a hiss. You couldn’t feel your legs. The cold had seeped into the bone making you feel unsteady. Thank shit for the wall, otherwise you would have fallen straight back down into your own piss-bucket. 

Stiff fingers pulled up underwear and pants over shaking legs with only a few fumbles. You were decent with your bum covered by pants at last! “This is great.” You whispered to yourself. “This is fine!” You resolutely took a step forward and-

Your foot caught on the bucket.

The sound startled you so bad you tried to get away from it and made the bucket fall over with a dull sounding splash. 

“Oh, shit!” You scrambled away from the mess before it could get all over you. “Oh, shit, oh, fuck, oh, fucking no!” You helplessly watched the previously white snow in the station turn a cheery yellow, watched the big puddle seep deep into the snow and spread. 

“Okay, this is okay.” Cupping your hands over your open mouth you stared for an uncomfortable amount of time at a big patch of yellow snow. Getting over your shock you decided to try and hide your crime. 

“That’s fine, this is okay! We just need to get a little, uh, a bit of… Eh.” Getting some white snow, unsullied from your unspeakable act, you tried to cover the crime scene. It went poorly. 

There was barely any light left in the underground at this point. You couldn’t even see the “scene” anymore. Very soon you wouldn’t be able to see anything at all. But the evidence…! Ah, fuck it! You grabbed the bucket, it was an accomplice after all. 

You abandoned your shameful crime scene and ran all the way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone who remembered this story and welcome all new readers who just found it. This chapter was super late. Sorry! I tend to let my mood affect my writing too much so I try to write when I’m happy because I want it to be a happy story. You know how it goes! 
> 
> An extra thank you to everyone who decided to re-read, give kudos and comments while I struggled with the chapter. It really helped! It's extra long even though I removed 3 pages of pure text... (D: or is it :D?)
> 
> Next up: “Web of Lies- Snakes in hidden go fish”

**Author's Note:**

> The soft version of Underfell


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